Buyers Remorse

Hello FIRSTNAME LASTNAME,

It’s been some time since we last communicated. Since the November election I’ve used this email list to let you know how much I appreciated your support in 2004 and to get you to sign petitions for innocous legislation like the Saving Babies for America Act. But I come to you today with a modest proposal, a proposal I feel is best for America.

Senate Bill 203320.23, the “Do Over Act of 2005″ is a simple yet powerful piece of legislation I urge you to support. What the Do Over Act would do is overturn the results of the 2004 election and give America the chance, once again, to decide between George W. Bush and me, John Kerry. I’ve been watching how lame Bush’s second term is, and I’ve said out loud “how the f*ck did I lose to this guy?”. Seriously, have you seen his disapproval numbers, the neverending ineptitude of this administration? There’s no way I could have lost to him.

So I’m taking America back to its playground roots, a time of real American values, where one only had to close one’s eyes and declare “do over”. Click here to sign our petition and let’s do this thing over again.

(I promise not to wuss out or go windsurfing.)

Sincerely,

John Kerry

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8 Responses to “Buyers Remorse”


  1. Gravatar Icon 1 kingforaday

    Sounds like the whisper of a dream.

  2. Gravatar Icon 2 beemer

    Sorry, John. You wussed out the first time. No second chances.

  3. Gravatar Icon 3 Todd B.

    *speeches. (Darn, it’s way to early to go without spell check! (*g*)

  4. Gravatar Icon 4 Frank_D

    Todd: Henry Clay was called the Great Compromiser — never President.
    Siephen Douglas was a first class orator — never President.
    Hal Holbrook has played politicians, including the President, to a fare - thee - well.
    But can he be President?

    Stop the song and dance… It has become excruciatingly tiresomel
    If all you want is to hear Kerry speak, hunt down all his audio tapes, copy his video speeches from C - Span and Tax - achusetts TV, light up a few bones of medical herb, and drift off to “Do - Over Land”

  5. Gravatar Icon 5 SaveFarris

    Well, at least he’s finally working on legislation. It’s only been 20 years…

  6. Gravatar Icon 6 neoconsrloopy

    I guess trying to put Ollie North and all the other crooks in the Raygun/Boosh administration in jail cut into his legislation.

    Iran/Contra, BCCI, S&L scandals, that’s a full time job for any Senator.

  7. Gravatar Icon 7 Frank_D

    Sorry, Neo, according to the new “Clinton standard” of guilt and evidence, as amended by the “O.J. corollary”, if you’re not indicted and found guilty in a court of law, then you’re pure as the driven the snow…

  8. Gravatar Icon 8 pionar

    What?

    Frank,

    nobody ever said Clinton didn’t do the things that were alleged. We just said that it was stupid to throw the president out of office for them when Reagan did MUCH worse things, like selling arms to the enemy.

    And what the hell does OJ have to do with this?

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