We do not ask for much. We are your humble servants, but we come to you with one request:

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE LET THE REDSKINS BEAT THE COWBOYS TODAY.

The Cowboys are evil, in league with Satan, and since we know you are not a fan of his (to say the least), we implore you to push the football mojo the Redskins’ way.

So for one day forget world peace, curing cancer, or getting Daddy a job interview.

We beg of you, make the Cowboys lose to the Redskins.

AMEN.

TMZ catches Jessica Simpson doing her best to jinx the Cowboys this weekend.

Dallas sucks, even when the Redskins do.

ALSO: Dallas cops are looking for a Tony Romo who knocked over a convenience store. Okay, so it’s not the same guy, but still…

Oh, if only he had learned how to do that when he was coaching the Redskins.

The MVP of the game was clearly Ladell Betts, who I believe should have replaced Clinton Portis earlier this season. They won playing the kind of football characteristic of the NFC East, and the kind that I love: grinding it out on the ground.

Bring on Dallas, they’ll probably kick our butts, but if they play something like they did today it won’t be a total failure.

The Redskins are dead. Dead, dead, dead. There is no life left to this season. In fact, its clear now the two wins on the record were mere flukes. There is no offense, or defense. The coaches stink, as do the quarterback and running back. The only decent player on the team – Chris Cooley – is hurt on the sideline.

Stick a fork in ‘em. This is the ultimate Dan Snyder team.

2-14, here they come. And Snyder will do something dumb like draft Tim Tebow.

Call in Dr. Kevorkian.

In many ways, Riggo is acting like some sort of senator or ambassador for the aggrieved Redskins fans. He’s the NFL’s Alan Grayson.

The question of the most popular sport on television has been long answered, but football put an exclamation point on it Sunday when a regular season N.F.L. game was far more watched than Game 4 of the World Series.

Both events had huge audiences, but the game between the Green Bay Packers and Minnesota Vikings, featuring the return of Brett Favre to Green Bay, was watched by an average of 29.8 million viewers — considerably more than the 22.3 million viewers who turned up for the Yankees’ win over the Phillies in the World Series.

Football showed its true power in the prime-time portion that ran after 7 p.m. That part of the game drew 39 million viewers, a figure on par with most playoff games.

Right.

Send help.

The owner, Daniel Snyder, is widely reviled in Washington, and for good reason. He meddles, bullies, and trusts his own football judgment too much. John Kent Cooke, who ran the team before Snyder purchased it about a decade ago, remarked recently that Snyder had “destroyed the franchise.” Fans did not generally receive this comment as hyperbole. The issue is not the team’s performance on the field, dismal as that is. It is the culture created by the owner—one of greed, expediency, and mean-spiritedness. The general atmosphere around the team suggests Zimbabwe—a failed state, an intractable dictator, and an impotent and suffering populace.

Redskins fans abandoning the team. For many of you not familiar with this region and the Skins, this is unprecedented.

There are other signs that as some Washingtonians stand by their floundering team, which is 2-4 in regular-season play, others are standing a little farther downwind. Nielsen ratings show that the average TV viewership of game broadcasts for the first six weeks of this season has dropped by about 120,000 households from the same period last year.

And the national market for burgundy and gold jerseys, banners and hats has plummeted, down 47 percent in the past month compared with the same period last year, according to sales data.

“This is something new,” said Matt Powell, chief retail analyst for SportsOne Source, an industry research firm. At least as judged by the merchandise sales index, he said, “nationally, the fan base is clearly abandoning this team.”

Through the last decade plus of the suck, the ownership of the Redskins could rely on the most dedicated fanbase around. I’ve seen it myself when I lived out west and regularly dragged myself out of bed at 8:30 on a SUNDAY so I could get to Joxer Daly’s sports bar with the other Redskins fans for a 10:00pst kickoff. But the ineptitude has pushed us to the breaking point this season, and the gravy train may be coming to an end.

Personally, I’m pretty fed up with them, and won’t be attending any games in person. But I still watch and live and die with them on the field. I’d just like something decent to cheer for for a change.

Abandon all hope, Redskins fans.

Washington Redskins executive vice president of football operations Vinny Cerrato said on his radio show Friday morning that Jim Zorn will remain the head coach of the team for the remainder of the season.

“Let me start by making a few things very perfectly clear: Jim Zorn is the head coach of the Washington Redskins, and will be for the rest of this season, and hopefully into the future,” Cerrato said on ESPN 980’s Inside the Red Zone.

In his opening remarks, which lasted about 15 minutes, Cerrato also defended the team’s organizational structure, called Steve Largent’s recent comments about the front office “off the wall,” and said this week’s news that Sherm Lewis would call the plays was meant to help Zorn, not undermine him.

Vinny Cerrato has no clue what he’s doing. He’s like George W. Bush running the team, but with more incompetence and less actual deaths (so far).

UPDATE: Riggo compares Snyder to Bernie Madoff.

SURELY THAT WILL SOLVE IT.

Look, FIRE THE GUY. And SELL THE TEAM.

The Redskins are a joke in the NFL and games like this DON’T HELP.

I don’t know what everyone is complaining about. That was a great game by the Redskins. They beat the Cleveland Browns 42-17! Mark Rypien looked great, passing for 190 yards and Ricky Ervins punched in 2 TDs.

I smell Super Bowl.

(What’s that you say? I’m living in the past? I’m talking about the 1991 Redskins and not the sorry ass Skins team that proved again that it was the joke of the league today? No, you’re clearly wrong…)