Oliver Willis » Jessica Alba

Jessica Alba In The Killer Inside Me

Oliver Willis — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 02:31:08 +0000

It’s an Albasance, I guess. Pretty intense NSFWish trailer. I never got around to reading the novel this is based on.

Jessica Alba Is In DC Today

Oliver Willis — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 18:14:31 +0000

Actress Jessica Alba met with Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi Friday morning to talk about the importance of global education. Pelosi then took Alba to a conference room in the speaker’s suite to address 18 members of the Democratic Women’s Caucus about raising awareness of the issue.

‘Jessica spoke very articulately and knowledgably about the need for greater emphasis on education,’ a House leadership staffer told Politics Daily in an exclusive interview Friday morning.

Is Jessica Alba Back?

Oliver Willis — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 18:01:00 +0000

She’s been dormant for so long, I hope so…

Jessica Alba Is Blonde Again

Oliver Willis — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 22:37:37 +0000

This is mostly to show that I have not given up this particular beat. It’s just that as a Hollywood mom Jessica Alba seems mighty interested in raising her kid and not in making movies where somehow she ends up near-nude. Crazy.

Jessica Alba Brings… The Weekend

Oliver Willis — Sat, 18 Apr 2009 01:02:47 +0000

In a world of change, some things stay the same.

Jessica Alba

Jessica Alba Is Still Going Strong

Oliver Willis — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 14:12:39 +0000

Yeah, still ain’t a great actress, but we don’t love her for her acting skills.

Official Best Animated GIF Of Jessica Alba Ever

Oliver Willis — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 02:37:05 +0000

Win.

See? That bad movie she made with the unfunny Dane Cook did bring some value to the world.

Jessica Alba Pwns Bill O’Reilly, Again

Oliver Willis — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 21:00:21 +0000

Somehow, this makes Jessica Alba even sexier.

After Alba told a Fox reporter that O’Reilly was ‘kind of an a-hole;’ he retaliated by calling her a ‘pinhead’ for telling a reporter to ‘be Sweden about it,’ assuming she meant Switzerland.

‘I want to clear some things up that have been bothering me lately,’ Alba blogged on MySpace Celebrity. ‘Last week, Mr. Bill O’Reilly and some really classy sites (i.e.TMZ) insinuated I was dumb by claiming Sweden was a neutral country. I appreciate the fact that he is a news anchor and that gossip sites are inundated with intelligent reporting, but seriously people… it’s so sad to me that you think the only neutral country during WWII was Switzerland.’

Although Switzerland is more frequently cited as an example of neutrality, Sweden did indeed follow a policy of neutrality during World War II. History point to Alba.

Jessica Alba On Bill O’Reilly

Oliver Willis — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 22:47:35 +0000

Missed this during the inauguration fun, but here’s Jessica Alba on the “a-hole” Bill O’Reilly.

We love her even more now.

>> Video: Jessica Alba Bikini Swimming in Deep Water
>> Jessica Alba in FHM Europe
>> Video: Bill O’Reilly Freakout

Jessica Alba Guest Starring On Post-Superbowl “The Office”

Oliver Willis — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 23:12:00 +0000

This is a dangerous combination of many things that I like.

Jessica Alba Is Selling Campari…

Oliver Willis — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 23:08:33 +0000

OliverWillis.com is on the scene. We will spare no expense to bring America the stories it needs.

Preview below the break…

Jessica Alba

John McCain’s Odds Of Winning =

Oliver Willis — Sun, 02 Nov 2008 05:47:26 +0000

My odds of bringing Jessica Alba home. Sure, “anything” is possible, but…

So… Um… Jessica Alba Wants You To Vote

Oliver Willis — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 17:08:08 +0000

So she did this for the Declare Yourself voter registration drive.

Okay.

Jessica Alba Motherhood FTW

Oliver Willis — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 20:49:58 +0000

A disturbance in the force.

Jessica Alba, Pregnant In Style

Oliver Willis — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 23:06:23 +0000

Well, it is summer.

Jessica Alba Weekend Zen

Oliver Willis — Sun, 25 May 2008 03:35:37 +0000

Like A Thousand Voices Screaming Out At Once In Agony

Oliver Willis — Tue, 20 May 2008 23:48:14 +0000

Noooooooo!

Pregnant actress Jessica Alba married her producer boyfriend Monday in the Beverly Hills courthouse’s ceremony room, People reported on their Web site.

Alba, 27, wore a long blue dress and her hair back in a ponytail, while Cash Warren, 31, was dressed in a white shirt and brown pants, according to People.com.

The two showed up at the courthouse about 11:30 a.m. to apply for a marriage license and waited about 40 minutes for the paperwork to be completed. A courthouse staff member married the couple under an arch of green silk foliage and white flowers, People.com reported.

Jessica Alba in Staring Contest

Oliver Willis — Thu, 08 May 2008 19:17:49 +0000

Awesome (via reader Corky)

Jessica Alba, FTW

Oliver Willis — Sun, 23 Mar 2008 14:00:40 +0000

Jessica Alba For America Exploratory Committee

Oliver Willis — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 07:43:57 +0000

If you’re as tired of this Clinton/Obama/McCain mess as I am, let me make the case for Jessica Alba as our next commander in chief.

1. She’s hot. We’ve never tried “sexy” in a president. Yes, JFK was dashing, but knowing what an attractive woman usually does to a man’s concentration, this would give a President Alba a considerable leg up in negotiations. Imagine what a little black dress could do for mid-east peace negotiations?

2. She has gravitas. Jessica Alba played Susan Storm, one of the Fantastic Four. TWICE. Is there anyone else running for president who has had the cojones to run around in spandex for 3 hours on a giant screeen? The answer is no.

3. She’s a mom-to-be. She’s smoking (see 1) and yet is with child. She’s clearly got family values (though not married to the baby daddy).

4. Tough on terror. Played Max, a super-powered hero on the show Dark Angel. On that show she cracked ribs and beat up baddies, while the writers found one inexplicable reason after another to show her in the skimpiest outfits possible (this is called the Jennifer Garner syndrome). If Jessica can take on late-90s cyber criminals, certainly Hamas or Al Qaeda can be dealt with.

5. See 1.