A notice obtained by CNN went out to Senate Democrats saying, ‘All Senators should be aware that former President Clinton will be making a presentation on Health Care at tomorrow’s caucus lunch. Senator Reid has requested that all Democratic Senators attend.’

We need a bill on the president’s desk by Christmas, at the very latest, New Years Eve.

Moses: Let my people go.

Pharaoh: No.

Moses: If you don’t, you will have to face the wrath of G–

Bill Clinton: Hey, hey! Moses, Pharaoh, listen; I think we can work this out.

Moses: We can?

Pharaoh: You’re right! Bill, you’re so right. I’ll let the Isrealites go.

Moses: That’s great! I mean, I had this whole thing about turning a stick into a snake and some plagues, but I guess I don’t need that. Thanks, Bill!

Bill Clinton: Anytime, guys.

BY THE WAY: If this stuff is such a roadblock to Secretary of State, how the hell were they planning on being the presidential candidate?

UPDATE: Also, in the coverage of this it has become accepted that Sen. Clinton campaigned hard for Sen. Obama. My gut feeling is that this isn’t true. Oh, she campaigned, and it was more than the perfunctory stuff she did for Kerry, but… I dunno.

Hoover leads to…

Reagan/Bush leads to…

Bush leads to…?

(via)

The real question is if George W. Bush will be speaking at the Republican convention. Because, you see, unlike President Clinton, President Bush is a disastrously unpopular leader who the nominee is making an almost unprecedented effort to disassociate himself from.

Perhaps the MSM could throw out their woefully outdated “Democratic Disarray” script and do some work for a change.

[Angry Oliver is angry]

“Sen. Obama’s support among working, hard-working Americans, white Americans, is weakening again”

“There was supposed to be some kind of a greeting ceremony at the airport but instead we just ran with our heads down to get into the vehicles to get to our base.”

“[T]he activist base of the Democratic Party… [T]hey are very driven by their view of our positions, and it’s primarily national security and foreign policy that drives them. I don’t agree with them. They know I don’t agree with them. So they flood into these caucuses and dominate them and really intimidate people who actually show up to support me.”

“Dr. King’s dream began to be realized when President Johnson passed the Civil Rights Act,” Clinton said. “It took a president to get it done.”

Bonus quotes from Bill Clinton:

“[I] opposed Iraq from the beginning”

“It’s the caucuses that have been killing us”

“Jesse Jackson won South Carolina in ‘84 and ‘88. Jackson ran a good campaign. And Obama ran a good campaign here.“

Something something personal impulses something something impulse control issues something something psychological demons something something self destructive behavior something something.

Mr. Clinton has placed several of his own aides at headquarters, including his former lawyer and a bevy of strategists. Known as a bad loser, Mr. Clinton privately buttresses his wife’s drive to push on, telling her, according to aides: “We’re not quitters.”

On his own daily message calls, advisers say, he implores: “We’ve got to take him on every time.” At the Clintons’ Washington, D.C., home recently, these people say, he reviewed possible TV spots and told ad makers to be more hard-hitting, faster and harsher.

Something something legacy destruction something something introduction of toxicity something something flailing failing campaign something something.

It’s kind of amusing and a little sad that a great president who based his entire political fortunes on being youthful and forward looking is now citing the one remaining voting bloc not in the Obama camp – older voters – as evidence of a problem with Sen. Obama. I would of course counter that Sen. Clinton’s weakness with this demographic known as “voters” is a big part of why she is losing the nomination.

And the last time I checked “voters” are the new “soccer moms”.

He wouldn’t say anything, he wouldn’t make a snide remark or chide his teammates, it was even worse. He just walked off, a sore ass loser.

I say this because President Clinton has once again dug into the feces and pulled out another pony for his wife to ride on.

While speaking by phone Thursday to his wife’s Texas supporters, former President Bill Clinton downplayed the importance of caucuses and argued that his wife, Sen. Hillary Clinton, D-N.Y., would capture the Democratic presidential nomination by outperforming Sen. Barack Obama, D-Ill., in primary states.

“Right now, among all the primary states, believe it or not, Hillary’s only 16 votes behind in pledged delegates,” said Bill Clinton, “and she’s gonna wind up with the lead in the popular vote in the primary states. She’s gonna wind up with the lead in the delegates [from primary states].”

“It’s the caucuses that have been killing us,” he added.

Got that? In addition to red states that go Obama not counting, southern states with large black populations worth nothing, blue states that have the nerve to go against the annointed one being excluded, now all the caucuses don’t count. None of them, so the criteria we must use from here on is primary states where Sen. Clinton won. Mister President, just put a crown on her and quit beating around the bush, because clearly Queen Elizabeth isn’t the only monarch as head of state of a major western power left!

Christ, what is wrong with these people?

You know who once didn’t have such a problem with caucuses? Hillary Clinton.

“So I ask you to caucus for me tomorrow. Put on your coats and call up a friend and help me change America,” she says. “If you stand with me for one night, I will stand up for you every day as your President.”

But that was back on the second of January before she began losing from coast to coast. Contrary to President Clinton’s twisted logic, all the delegates count – be they in primaries or caucuses, red states or blue states, black voters or none. That’s the contest the Democratic party set up, and while I know this is a shocker to the two of them: They don’t own the party.

Stay tuned for another edition of Cherry Pickin’! With The Clintons: If they can’t win steal the nomination, nobody can.

ALSO: Exclusive footage of the Clinton campaign as interpreted by a troupe of mid-20th century British comedians.

MSNBC is reporting that on the campaign trail today in Charlotte, North Carolina, the former president said a general election matchup between his wife, Sen. Clinton, and Sen. John McCain would be between “two people who love this country” without “all this other stuff that always seems to intrude itself on our politics.”

Yesterday, while campaigning in Allentown, Bill Clinton praised McCain, NBC/NJ’s Mike Memoli reports. “He paid as high a price as you can pay to serve this country without getting killed, and we have to honor that,” Clinton said. “[And] he has some redeeming qualities for a Republican: he doesn’t believe in torture, he supported campaign finance reform and he doesn’t think global warming is a myth… So it is not gonna be all that easy to beat him.” Of course, Obama has also praised McCain and his service. But Clinton’s praise came on the very day — the fifth anniversary of the Iraq war — in which the Obama and McCain camps were trading barbs over the Iraq war. So in that context, it was fascinating that Clinton would be so effusive in his praise. Meanwhile, McCain’s been similarly deferential to Clinton, but not so much to Obama. In fact, the tone of the Mark Salter’s attack release yesterday is a reminder to some that there really is no love lost between Team McCain and Team Obama. There is a lot more contempt for Obama with McCain folks than there is for Clinton.

You should also remember that Bill Clinton was never against the war in Iraq.

First Lady Hillary Clinton, with her husband the President, at the Easter Egg Roll on the White House lawn. She may as well be ordering an airstrike on Bosnia.

First Lady Hillary Clinton at a state dinner with her husband, the President. It’s not everyone who knows which fork is the salad fork you know.

First Lady Hillary Clinton and the White House Christmas tree. Can we roll the dice on someone who hasn’t chosen the decorations for a really big Christmas tree before? I don’t think so.

First Lady Hillary Clinton smiles and waves at her husband, the President’s second inaugural. Smiles. And waves. At the same time. Do they even teach you how to do that in Illinois?

First Lady Hillary Clinton poses with her family at Christmas. Bold. Decisive. Ready to Lead.

First Lady Hillary Clinton reads to some children. Notice how the Cat In The Hat resembles a member of Al Qaeda? Hillary did.

First Lady Hillary Clinton attends Richard Nixons funeral with her husband, the President. Look how she attended the frick out of that ceremony!

First Lady Hillary Clinton as part of her role leading the health care reform task force, speaks to a senior citizen. This, uh, failed miserably.

First Lady Hillary Clinton meets with some girl scouts. This is totally like meeting with soldiers. That is, soldiers who are as cute as a button and love playing with Barbies.

First Lady Hillary Clinton oversees the construction of a gingerbread house. For our purposes substitute “Baghdad” or “New Orleans” for “gingerbread house” and you can see where I’m going with this.

First Lady Hillary Clinton and some Sesame Street characters meet. It’s like a high level meeting at Camp David. Right.

First Lady Hillary Clinton cuts the ribbon of a Women’s Wellness Center. Many refer to this as her version of “Nixon goes to China”.

First Lady Hillary Clinton testifies to congress about the healthcare reform task… you know what, let’s move on.

First Lady Hillary Clinton and the US Women’s World Cup Team. Global? Yes, she’s got that covered.

First Lady Hillary Clinton has high level talks with Danny Devito at a summit discussing raising teens. Now she’s totally ready to take on Kim Jong Il.

First Lady Hillary Clinton displays a book about White House sculpture. There are two kinds of leaders in this world: Ones who know White House sculpture and ones who don’t. Sorry, Barack.

First Lady Hillary Clinton and the 1996 US Olympic team. Hillary Clinton is the woman to the right, just one person away from her husband, the President, the only one who at that time was Commander In Chief. He, not her, was the only one tasked by the Constitution to serve as Commander In Chief. She was his wife, his partner, his confidante, his soul-mate and more. But she was not the President.

In other news, the flying pigs report that hell has frozen over and Britney Spears is a good mom.