Cookie Monster Echoes The White House Argument On Torture

By Oliver Willis on October 5, 2007 12:55 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)

Q: Cookie Monster, why did you eat the cookie?

CM: I didn't eat cookie. Cookie Monster don't eat cookie.

Q: But Cookie Monster, you've got the cookie right in your hand. There's cookie crumbs all over your fur.

CM: But I didn't eat cookie. Cookie Monster does not eat cookies. Period.

Q: So what is that in your hand?

CM: What?

Q: That thing that looks like a cookie in your hand?

CM: Oh this. This am not cookie.

Q: It's not.

CM: No. Media is mistaken. Biased. Left-wing. Cookie Monster could not be holding a cookie because Cookie Monster, as previously stated, do not eat cookie!

Q: So what is it?

CM: Freedom.

Q: It's not a cookie, it's "Freedom".

CM: That is right. Cookie Monster redefine "cookie" as "freedom", so when Cookie Monster eat cookie, Cookie Monster can lie right to your face and say Cookie Monster don't eat cookie. He eat FREEDOM.

Q: Seriously?

CM: 9/11 changed everything.

(EDITORIAL NOTE: It has been a long time since I watched "Sesame Street", so apologies if Cookie Monster sounds more like Yoda or Bizarro than the Cookie Monster we all loved)

4 Comments

Cookie Monster said:

What you mean?!? Me not say any of that stuff! Me always honest about eating cookies -- me a GLUTTON, not a LIAR! You come up to Sesame Street, we eat some cookies and straighten this out!

October 5, 2007 2:34 AM

Misplaced Patriot said:

Of course, Yoda and Cookie Monster are the same person underneath, so it's easy to confuse them.

October 5, 2007 2:35 AM

Michael Blaine said:

I like your blog, Oliver!

Check out my latest commentary on "The 'Africom' Menace":

http://www.rudelystamped.blogspot.com/

Michael Blaine

October 5, 2007 7:49 AM

MJB said:

Semi off topic but very funny and cookie monster related.
http://hollywoodphony.wordpress.com/2007/09/27/one-of-these-things/