Big Hollywood’s Steven Crowder Is Dumb

9:03 pm EST February 2nd, 2010 | News | 13 Comments

Steven Crowder Writing at Andrew Breitbart’s Big Hollywood, self-styled conservative comedian goes guns-ablazing versus Nick Jonas of the Jonas Brothers.

The Jonas Brothers. Sure they need to grow some biceps and maybe sack up a little, but as a whole I don’t have anything against them. At least I didn’t, until that coiffed little pissant who refers to himself as “Kevin” made a recent statement about sex.

“To be honest about it, sex was not worth the wait. After we did it, I was kind of like, that’s it?”

… Is it just me, or does this putz deserved to be slapped?

It’s no secret that the Jonas brothers have all publicly proclaimed that they were saving sex until marriage. Let’s be honest, if they weren’t in a rock band they probably wouldn’t have much of a choice — but good on them for setting a positive example. Kevin Jonas recently decided to get hitched. Good for him. Honeymoon time. Time to party on. Perhaps he may even get to leave the hotel room once or twice and actually see some of Mexico, but it’s unlikely. After all he’s got a lot of “work” to do.

Instead, he publicly makes the, “Sex wasn’t worth the wait” comment.

What’s Crowder’s source for this? The only thing I could find is this story from Andy Borowitz at Huffington Post.

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) – Just days after tying the knot after years of abstinence, Kevin Jonas of the pop sensation the Jonas Brothers stunned his teenaged fans by announcing that “to be honest about it, sex was not worth the wait.”

Other stories from Mr. Borowitz that the Breitbart empire might want to look into:

Huge Deficits May Hamper America’s Ability to Wage Pointless Wars, Pentagon Fears

Bin Laden ‘Furious’ That John Edwards’ Tape Is Scarier Than His

Hollywood Eager to Finally F*ck Up Catcher in the Rye

I suspect that Borowitz’s work is satire. AKA, not real.

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13 Responses to “Big Hollywood’s Steven Crowder Is Dumb”

AwkwardSilence says:

February 2, 2010 at 9:23 pm

Aw, screw it- I was going to go into specifics, but why bother?

What a fucking tool.
zaphodbeeblebrox says:

February 2, 2010 at 10:25 pm

Borowitz’s satire is the best.
Gene Gaudette says:

February 2, 2010 at 11:33 pm

In the wake of a gaffe that egregious, I’m sure Brietbart will give Steven Crowder a raise and promotion.
Rob Wolfe says:

February 2, 2010 at 11:53 pm

And in truly pathetic fashion, that link now gives a 404 error. Nice to see a comedian that can’t laugh at himself.
Paul_D says:

February 2, 2010 at 11:54 pm

That kind of humor and wit can pack the comedy clubs with crickets and echoes.
calling all toasters says:

February 2, 2010 at 11:58 pm

Did Borowitz write anything about Senate office phones being disconnected and nobody noticing?
Marco says:

February 3, 2010 at 1:12 am

Looks like they pulled it, but for real laughs check out their Oscar nominations thread. The commenters really know how to suck the joy out of going to the movies.

PS. Mo’Nique will win for social just and She’s Black!
AwkwardSilence says:

February 3, 2010 at 12:32 pm

Generally speaking, conservative ‘comedy’ is a bit…. godawful. You’ve basically got this douchebag, PJ O’Rourke, douchebags who plagiarize PJ O’Rourke, um…. Dennis Miller, er…. this train wreck, before it was mercifully cancelled, and…. uh…. um….

Well, I’m drawing a blank.

I guess technically you also have Jeff Dunham and the Blue Collar Comedy guys, although their conservative schtick seem pretty contrived and exploitative.

Speaking of crappy conservative comedians, this whole episode reminded me of when DUI-prone Bruce Tinsley pulled a four strip hissy fit because his brilliant readers couldn’t pick up on the fact that the obviously faked Mallard Fillmore strip included in the the (awesome) Daily Show book, was, like the seven other comic strips and 99.5% of the book’s content, complete and utter silly, invented, nonsense.

Stick to the angry talk radio and country music, folks.
timmy says:

February 3, 2010 at 1:00 pm

The only modern conservatives who make halfway decent comedians are the rednecks. Example:

You know you’re a redneck when…
…you take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
…you burn your yard rather than mow it.
…your grandma has “ammo” on her Christmas list…

Works for me. But big rich white frat boy looking guys who try to do comedy looks more ridiculous than Dennis Miller trying to do conservative comedy. Fail! Since they can’t really poke fun at themselves, big rich white frat boy looking guys have to poke fun at everybody else, which winds up sounding too… modern conservative. And bullying just ain’t funny.
merl says:

February 3, 2010 at 5:30 pm

here’s a challenge. name one conservatard who isn’t stupid.
Conservative Teen says:

February 3, 2010 at 9:38 pm

Knock off the rude comments already. Have none of you ever made a false statement? Steven obviously made a mistake. Okay? There ARE smart conservatives out there, Andrew Breitbart??? Glenn Beck?? (Now I know y’all are gonna knock both of those, but whatever.) Your immature comments are ridiculous and unncessary. Did it ever occur to you people that maybe he realized he was wrong and that’s why he pulled the article? Not just cuz he can’t laugh at himself. Always trying to make everybody seem so much dumber than they really are…
True, I’ll admit the article seemed a little far fetched last night, but it just goes to show we are ALL human. I wouldn’t be pointing fingers about mistakes when John Edwards has been in the news lately…
-CT-
abanterer says:

February 3, 2010 at 9:45 pm

I have the unsettling feeling, looking at this guys picture here…
That I may well have seen his ‘O’ face.

Ugh.
timmy says:

February 4, 2010 at 7:39 am

If you can get Tammy Bruce to quit calling Obama “Dumb Bastard”, I’ll quit calling rednecks the only real conservative comedians.