Obviously going on the theory of “If you say it long enough and loud enough, people might start believing you.” Hey, it worked for Obama in 2008 (Hope & Change!!)

But fool me once…

Let’s say it’s the 1950′s and Eisenhower (a Republican president who actually did a bit of good for the country in terms of race relations) is thinking about passing this 1957 Civil Rights legislation. He knows it isn’t great, but it’s a platform that can be built upon for 1964 and what was truly a great moment in progressive American politics (Civil Rights Act). But due to some ax-grinding and back biting but most importantly, the inability to either a) go on the road and make the case to the public or b) frame the issue from the greatest of bully pulpits, that of the presidency, the bill he actually signs is one where all Americans pay a monthly tax to all private segregated institutions. Every “Colored Water Fountain” restaurant, every bus company that forced blacks to sit in the back, every corrupt county government that denied blacks the right to vote would get millions upon millions of dollars, the logic being that if those places could benefit financially even more from their corrupt practices, they would somehow manage to see the light down the road.

Yeah, it’s a bit hyperbolic. But I just don’t see how the current bill (which will probably make it harder for women to get abortions as well) isn’t a massive step backwards, not forwards. So President Obama, please have the humility to kill this bill. Focus on jobs. You aren’t going to be the progressive president known for meaningful HCR, but there are still lots of other important fights to be won.

Ted wouldn’t have wanted this bill. Parts of it yes, but not a stand-alone mandate.

Yes, I do so urgently need to be fined for being unable to afford to pay money to criminal insurance companies. I need desperately to pay them maybe 1/8th of what I’m barely earning anyway for what few options they’ll offer that will still leave me with a several-thousand dollar deductible, massive co-pays, and urgently necessary procedures I can’t get done, even with insurance, after a credit check shows that I’ve already needed to declare bankruptcy (and funny enough, I don’t yet have the money to be able to afford to declare yet) over previous medical debts. I can feel my life improving already. Gloribloodyoski.

Oh, but it’s okay, because even though I’ll be forced to buy a broken product from a criminal company, there’ll be an Exchange that, if past is prologue, Joe “The Worlds Last Honest Man” Lieberman will be in charge of, or failing him insurance company lobbyists meaning I get to have the choice of which specific chainsaw I want forced up my rectum. Frabjuous Day, Calloo-Callay, I chortle in such joy.

Ah, and there’ll be help paying for the insurance people will be forced to buy, coming out of taxes. So, I pay money directly and pay money to the govt to pay money to other people so they as well can pay directly to the health insurance industry so they can pay fractions of what they receive back in actual medical treatment for either of us! Truly this endeavor is worthy of being labeled a great man’s life’s work. Hot Damn!

I tell you, mandates and exchanges and regulations and insurance-that-fingers-crossed-clap-to-tinkerbell-might-work-marginally-better-than-before, I’m sure glad we have all those things instead of the actual ABILITY TO GO AND SEE THE DOCTOR IF YOU NEED TO. HALLEFUCKMOTHERINGLUJAH!

As Ted would say, we’ll drive off that bridge when the time comes.

“The Phantom Dennis”

(And congratulations to Senator Kennedy. Next Friday will be four months of sobriety!)

I’m sorry, but I don’t even think Ted would vote a yes on this bill if he was still alive.