Visual Proof That Good Americans Eat Meat
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It’s meat. In the shape of America. This is a sign from God that you should eat steak.
Unless you hate America. If so, enjoy your fakin’ bacon, hippie. (via)
29 Responses to “Visual Proof That Good Americans Eat Meat”
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© 2000-2011 Oliver Willis
Is the run of fat through West Virginia, Arkansas, Wyoming, and most of the Dakotas proof that God wants them all to die?
I just emailed this to all of my vegan hippie friends and begged them to repent. If I can’t save their immortal souls, maybe the All-American God (you know which one I’m talking about, right? The Christian one, of course.) will at least see the virtue in my efforts to make those sinners repent and will carve out a special place in Heaven just for me as my reward.
Can I get a Hallelujah and maybe even an Amen on that?
Florida is just a big wad of fat and gristle.
There ya go.
Praise the meat, marbled be his name!
This is the Seventh Seal of Revelation
Much more fun than Jesus on a tortilla.
God gave me incisor teeth to tear….lettuce? I think not!
MMMM…Luvs me some of that dead cow. Medium-well, please.
Meat is murder.
Tasty, tasty murder.
A.
Then lock me up and throw away the key. Or if I get the death penalty, I want my last meal to be a 16-0z. t-bone with a side of Iowa-cut pork chops.
Meat, with a side of… meat?
Oh, hell yeah.
I once had a pork chop that looked like Sicily. Was that un-American?
Socialism!!!!!
But not nearly as much fun as Jesus on a dog’s behind. Witnesseth the miracle for thine ownself here:
http://getbehindjesus.net/
I’ve never understood white vegans need to copy carnivore food shapes. Make your own shapes! Quit copying us! Tofurkey? Fakin Bacon? Come on! Stop being so jealous!
Nice to see hippy bashing isn’t just a problem on the right.
You’ll notice it’s red meat, not blue.
When I grow up, I’m going to Bovine University!
Not eating meat is the single easiest way for you supposed “lefties” to lower your carbon footprint. Plus tempeh is pretty darn good, and very good for ya. You sound like a bunch of righty knuckledraggers in the comments above!
I’m not sure how much sarcasm/irony is intended in these comments, but as a (non-militant) vegetarian I find this kind of thing about as hilarious as gay bashing. Aside from a vocal minority of jerks who are too in-your-face and holier-than-thou about their vegetarianism, vegetarians in general are gentle and kind people who really don’t deserve to be singled out like this. It happens whenever the subject comes up on the Internet and frankly it’s tiresome.
So the entire “god is just dog backwards” thing is based on a solid reality.
Who knew?
Angus MacDougal, that’s who.
Oh, lighten up, will ya? Just about every comment on this page is satirical and is clearly aimed not at vegetarians, but metaphorically at the kind of crap that the Extreme Right is so eager to embrace à la Glen Beck. Have you ever seen some of the “this, therefore that” rants that that guy engages in?
Case in point (courtesy of HuffPo:)
“This time Beck is taking shots at the titan of American capitalism, John Rockefeller, accusing him of having been a secret communist. Beck knows this to be true because he has discovered all sorts of ‘communist’ and ‘fascist’ art on NBC headquarters at Rockefeller Center, as well as on land behind the United Nations that was donated by Rockefeller.
Trying to discern Beck’s ultimate point from this is difficult but I believe it’s something like: Rockefeller was an early American progressive, which actually means he was a communist, and they have connections to the fascists. And we know this because Rockefeller left clues to his true legacy with these communist art pieces which are hidden in plain sight, and since we have people in our own time who call themselves progressives they must actually be communists (possibly fascists?)”
source: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/09/02/glenn-beck-finds-communis_n_275915.html
Sorry you don’t find any of this amusing. But if this is the sort of thing that offends your sensibilities, this is probably not the blogspot for you.
BTW: Some of my best friends are vegetarians. Vegans, even.
(Sorry. Just couldn’t resist adding that last sentence.)
Have a steak with a side of ham and chill out hippie.
Yes yes, I did mention sarcasm and irony in my post. But I really do sense a lot of hostility toward vegetarians on the net and to some extent in our society in general, and it really seems misplaced. For this to work as comedy or parody, it needs to be targeting a group that really isn’t the butt of these kinds of remarks made in earnest.
Yeah. And while we’re at it let’s go blow up some brown folks and ignore global warming. Blar har har, hippies. Showed you.
This kind of in-your-face chops-busting is exactly the sort of thing that dilutes a genuine message. The meat we eat (myself included) has real issues that ‘hippies’ want addressed, but instead of addressing them we laugh in their faces and go eat some industry-raised pork. Global warming is a real crisis, but Al Gore is fat so who cares. Iraq was a huge mistake, but only hippies hate war so let’s blow up innocent people and spend trillions of dollars that could have gone to health care.
This kind of spiteful jabbing at people that are on your own side has got to stop. And even if you were joking, there are plenty of folks on both sides that would not take it as such. And taken at its lightest this does not help your side in the least.
I found that humorless liberal everyone’s always talking about.
and it really seems misplaced
Oh, I dunno, vegetarians and vegans can often be sanctimonious so-and-so.
For this to work as comedy or parody…
It needs to be funny, and the vast majority of the response here says I reached that goal. And no more or less than that. You guys often want to take the funny out of everything. Not every liberal goes to bed weeping every night because we don’t have utopia.
Yes, yes, yes. Punch the hippy, wait til he bitches, then call him out and have a good laugh. Ha ha ha. Sure showed him.
Read the posts above. Many of them depict exactly the sort of sneering tone one would expect from a bunch of global warming deniers gloating about their SUVs.
No wonder we can’t make any headway. We’re too busy kneecapping each other for laughs.
I’m with you on this icruise. To me it’s more indicative of the reflexive hippy punching that permeates our society. Forget the issues; gotta smack ‘em around just to show ‘em what’s what.