Dear Father In Heaven

10:46 am EST November 22nd, 2009 | Sports | 13 Comments

praying children

We do not ask for much. We are your humble servants, but we come to you with one request:

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE LET THE REDSKINS BEAT THE COWBOYS TODAY.

The Cowboys are evil, in league with Satan, and since we know you are not a fan of his (to say the least), we implore you to push the football mojo the Redskins’ way.

So for one day forget world peace, curing cancer, or getting Daddy a job interview.

We beg of you, make the Cowboys lose to the Redskins.

AMEN.

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13 Responses to “Dear Father In Heaven”

  1. paprikapink says:
    November 22, 2009 at 11:41 am

    Oh okay. Since you asked so nicely, I’ll do it.

  2. kth says:
    November 22, 2009 at 12:22 pm

    Could happen, that whole division looks a lot weaker than it did a year ago. Of course if the Redskins win, you’ll then have to admit that God exists.

    In other NFL news, Drew Brees’ mom seems to have killed herself. So (seriously) if there’s anyone in the NFL that deserves our prayers today, it’s Drew Brees.

  3. Parthenon says:
    November 22, 2009 at 12:34 pm

    You guys are playing for draft position anyway, so even if they lose, there’s an upside.

  4. fafaroo says:
    November 22, 2009 at 12:57 pm

    Dude. Don’t you know that God is from Dallas?

  5. Fred says:
    November 22, 2009 at 1:12 pm

    I would be 100% in favor of this wish IF it was for a team that does not have a grossly racist name to beat the ^&%#$#* Cowboys.

    But as long as the Redskins insist on keeping a team name that is no more defensible than calling them the Niggers – I say let them fail, fail, fail.

  6. tom says:
    November 22, 2009 at 2:37 pm

    I dunno, according to the Book of Job, God and Satan are on fairly good terms.

  7. Daniel says:
    November 22, 2009 at 4:04 pm

    Watching them makes my brain hurt. It is a painful experience. Nothing ever changes!

  8. BubbaDave says:
    November 22, 2009 at 6:30 pm

    So does that make Suisham an agent of Satan?

  9. Lonya says:
    November 22, 2009 at 6:56 pm

    Suisham should just stay in Dallas and get a paycheck from them.

  10. SaveFarris says:
    November 22, 2009 at 7:21 pm

    Who Dat say they gonna beat them Saints?

  11. cj says:
    November 22, 2009 at 7:46 pm

    Oliver, don’t you know it’s not good to pray out of vain.

  12. White Whale says:
    November 22, 2009 at 8:26 pm

    Who DAT? Not dem Saints but two teams that suck mightier dan a Sheephead fish in Lake Ponchartrain…Da Boys and Dem Skins.

  13. liberalrob says:
    November 23, 2009 at 1:23 pm

    Well Oliver, he tried very hard but the Redskins just sucked too bad. My god, what a boring game. Suddenly Cowboys fans are pining for the T.O. era, can you believe that?

    On the good side, CMT has the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders series. I would rather watch the two cheerleading squads face off than see that game again.