Fox News ’62: Wacky Jack Makes “Moon” Speech

9:17 pm EST July 20th, 2009 | News | 14 Comments

Sep. 12, 1962
(HOUSTON) — Amid increasing evidence of his unstable mental condition, President Kennedy today announced in a speech at Rice University that he was beginning a program to send America to the “moon”. The audience in attendence seemed mostly puzzled by the President’s moon talk.

“A man on the moon? That’s a ridiculous idea.”, said little Charlie Krauthammer, 12, president of his neighborhood’s “Lil’ Neocon Society”. It does seem like an odd endeavour for Kennedy, especially when you consider that there are still questions remaining from the 1960 election in which many observers believe Kennedy stole the election from Nixon.

The president caused jaws to drop even further when he insisted that a moon landing would occur before the end of the decade – supposedly some time in 1969 at the latest. “President Kennedy’s lack of scientific knowledge is dangerous,” said Harry Trunbridge of the Conservative Coalition of Scientists. He continued: “We all know that dangerous cosmic rays prevent man from going any further than low earth orbit. Plus, there are space monsters on the moon.”

The president’s spokesman disagreed with these bold, proud Americans, possibly due to Communist influence over the administration.

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14 Responses to “Fox News ’62: Wacky Jack Makes “Moon” Speech”

  1. Southern Quaker says:
    July 20, 2009 at 9:21 pm

    President Kennedy today announced in a speech at Rice University that he was beginning a program to send America to the “moon”.

    my alma mater :)

  2. durablend says:
    July 20, 2009 at 10:05 pm

    I guess when you’ve got nothing to praise in your own President, you make him look bigger by knocking down easy targets.

    Translation: LOOK!!!!! UP IN THE SKY!!!!!

  3. Southern Quaker says:
    July 20, 2009 at 10:09 pm

    I guess when you’ve got nothing to praise in your own President, you make him look bigger by knocking down easy targets.

    So you admit, then, that Faux News is an easy target?

  4. Wilbur says:
    July 20, 2009 at 11:01 pm

    I guess when you’ve got nothing to praise in your own President, you make him look bigger by knocking down easy targets.

    I guess when the leadership on your side of the aisle is nothing but assholes and buffoons, you bitch and moan like a sorehead to make yourself feel better.

  5. News Reference says:
    July 20, 2009 at 11:21 pm

    ““A man on the moon? That’s a ridiculous idea.”, said little Charlie Krauthammer, 12, president of his neighborhood’s “Lil’ Neocon Society”.”

    LOL.

    Yeah, the increasingly nutty Krauthammer is certainly an intellectual lightweight that’s easy to target for a hypothetical intellectual knockdown.

  6. Adam Herman says:
    July 21, 2009 at 4:23 am

    Not bad, except that Charles Krauthammer is a big supporter of the space program and lovingly quoted Kennedy’s speech just a few days ago.

    If you’re going to smear conservatives, at least smear the right ones.

  7. I'm a Hick says:
    July 21, 2009 at 8:56 am

    President Kennedy today announced in a speech at Rice University that he was beginning a program to send America to the “moon”.

    my alma mater

    WRC ’79!

  8. SaveFarris says:
    July 21, 2009 at 9:53 am

    durablend,

    who’s the one making up phony news stories in order to avoid talking about what’s really going on? It ain’t matt…

  9. albury says:
    July 21, 2009 at 1:05 pm

    President Kennedy today announced in a speech at Rice University that he was beginning a program to send America to the “moon”.

    my alma mater

    Weiss ’65!

  10. News Reference says:
    July 21, 2009 at 1:17 pm

    I should credit the wacky right winger Charles Krauthammer for calling out the vapid, shallow Republican Sarah Palin.

    Krauthammer is still wacky and part of an increasingly wacky Republican Party.

    That said….

    Palin/Krauthammer 2012!

  11. Duros62 says:
    July 21, 2009 at 2:13 pm

    who’s the one making up phony news stories in order to avoid talking about what’s really going on? It ain’t matt…

    It’s called a humorous interlude, Farris. Kind of like walking and chewing gum, some folks can do both at the same time.

    So we’ll know what the Mighty O is going to do with the Gitmo prisoners as they’re leaving. Probably lay hands on them so they’ll be HEALED!!!

    No, they’ll most likely go to the Supermax prison in Denver with the rest of the dangerous criminals we have in this country. You know, like the US citizen that ATE his PARENTS.

    Stop peeing yourself over these guys. They aren’t that dangerous.

  12. Southern Quaker says:
    July 21, 2009 at 2:16 pm

    @albury –

    Brown ’89!

  13. Southern Quaker says:
    July 21, 2009 at 2:17 pm

    And Hick, too! Who knew there were so many Owls on OWs blog!

  14. albury says:
    July 21, 2009 at 7:26 pm

    I’m a first-timer here, SQ. Someone posted this article on a message board I frequent, and I clicked the link. Being a Yank from PA, I don’t run across too many Rice folks anymore, so it’s good to see you. I haven’t been down there since ’85, and didn’t recognize the place then. I’d be lost outside the Quadrangle now, I’m sure.