Florida Gators To Use “Tax Cut” Offense This Season
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(Gainseville) — in a shocker, University Of Florida Gators coach Urban Meyer announced that the incumbent national champions would be scrapping their entire playbook and moving to a “tax cut” based offense.
“For a long time conservatives have pushed tax cuts as the solution to every problem, so I figured — why not college football? So I’m throwing out the playbook and philosophy that took us to 13-1 and a national championship and instead betting it all on tax cuts,” said Meyer.
At press time none of the new tax-cut based plays were available but star quarterback Tim Tebow has indicated to friends that he thinks that plays like the “Laffer Curve”, “Increased Deficit” and “Wealth Disparity” will make the Gators into the Grover Norquists of the SEC.
This is not the first time that an economic philosophy has been used in place of a traditional offense, though the 0-16 Detroit Lions of 2008 ultimately chose to scrap their “communism” playbook. NFL expert Joe Theismann explained that the much vaunted “superior Soviet farming techniques” regularly fared poorly versus the 3-4 defense.
19 Responses to “Florida Gators To Use “Tax Cut” Offense This Season”
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© 2000-2011 Oliver Willis
The top 1% of their players will have their burden shifted to the others. After all, once a guy has shown he’s the best, why make him prove it over and over?
I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! Going to that type of offense would initially look good, but would cause the program to collapse. Maybe that’s the offense that good ol danny boy used for your skins
If only Urban Meyer were really that stupid! Go Dawgs!
Tim Tebow once stiff-armed a horse. That animal became what is now known as the giraffe.
CHOMP! CHOMP! Wingnuts are all Gator Bait!
I had a feeling Tebow was a Republican. Haha.
No way Tebow’s a Republican. He doesn’t lie and he enjoys doing community service. But that’s not to say that he’s a Dem, either.
When it rains in The Swamp Tim Tebow doesn’t get wet. The rain gets Tim Tebow’d.
I had a feeling Tebow was a Republican. Haha.
Not terribly smart + Jesus Whackjob = Republican.
Indeed.
Kudos to picking a Tebow picture from a game in which he lost (LSU 2007). What a game!
Kiper on Tebow:
http://ncaafootball.fanhouse.com/2008/12/19/tim-tebow-does-not-take-mel-kipers-criticism-kindly-calls-him/
Kind of fascinating. Tebow’s a great college QB, but I’m also skeptical of his ability to play well in the NFL. A QB can’t run against 300 pound dudes who are faster than you. Works well in the SEC, however.
“I had a feeling Tebow was a Republican. Haha.
Not terribly smart + Jesus Whackjob = Republican.
Indeed.”
Or class act. Normal. Mega success. Future tax payer/non welfare recipient. Definately a Republican.
Damn Gator Haters!
Prof. Choas-got a video just for you… give you a clue 49-10
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r62hP7BQmRg&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fvideo.google.com%2Fvideosearch%3Fhl%3Den%26q%3Dflorida%2520gators%2520v.%2520georgia%26sourceid%3Dnavclient-ff%26rlz%3D1B3GGGL_enUS334US334%26um%3D1%26&feature=player_embedded
Wek-I love that Tebowism!!! That is awesome.
SaveFarris-i forgot to mention 51-21 and this year’s National championship. We’ll see you this year. Just prepare yourself for the beatdown that you are going to endure.
Oliver, I STILL hate you!!!! Daniel says hi.
Normal. Mega success.
Got two words for you.
Ryan Leaf.
Two more.
Todd Marinovich.
Couple of points and 1 more Tebowism:
-Kiper is an assclown. He’s good at predicting where someone will get drafted, but not so good at predicting success at the next level. For every correct choice he’s made he has a “Tim Couch” he’s trying to hide in the closet. He’s like the political ‘journalists’ after the Iraq War went south by falling back on the “well everyone else was incorrect on that prediction, too” argument.
When Tebow came up from high school he heard the same nonsense: “He’ll never be able to pass at the next level” or “If he trys to run in the SEC he’ll get killed”. Wrong on both predictions. Tebow has completed nearly nearly 70% of his throws and even when the entire stadium knows he’s running on a 4th and 1 he still gets the 1st down.
Many good QB’s ended up screwed out of an NFL career. Guys like Doug Flutie and Warren Moon had to play in Canada forever before the dipshitted NFL teams thought “hey, maybe these guys can play”. For years the NY sports media said the best quarterback in New York plays for the Knicks as they referred to Charlie Ward (believe me, I’m in pain giving praise to a FSU Seminole). Just like Kiper the NFL teams find it easier to go with the flow instead of going against the grain.
-Who gives a fuck about what political party he’s in or lean towards? He’d be an asset to either since he’s a good dude that leads by example like helping the poor in far away places (and he doesn’t call in the media for a cheesy photo op, either). Tebow’s just good for humanity….even if I find his churchy-ness a bit annoying, personally, but he’s never preachy about it.
Tebowism: Notre Dame players now touch a “Play like Tim Tebow today” sign while heading out to the field.
Wek-as a GATOR fan you are AWESOME!!!! I love the Tebowism’s. And as a longtime Knicks fan (only tats are the Knicks and Gators logos) it ripped me up rooting for him as a FSU alum. And tiy are ABSOLUTELY correct about Kiper. I go to the NFL draft every year and he is laughed at by numberous fans. His ‘projections’ are often wrong. It was not hard for people, even me, to see the Lions needed a QB this year. They said Tebow could not play in the SEC.
Jaim and RePack Rider-Maybe Tebow should have been like those ‘great’ (and I use that term loosely) pro style QB’s like the Big 12 had in Harrell, McCoy, and Bradford. Harrell, for all his record setting performances, went the way of the CFL. Even Colt Brennan made it in the NFL. McCoy, in his three big games last year he went 2-1 and was a decent quarterback. He was average against a superious PSU defense. As for Bradford, well we all saw how he did when a team that actually played D did to him. He wasn’t so great when it mattered, was he. Tebow still has another year to develop, and he will have a impact in the NFL. Lets visit this again after the year.
“If he trys to run in the SEC he’ll get killed”
If he tries to run in the NFL he’ll get killed.
Seriously.
Wow. I suppose this was attempt at humor. Your satire is mild ammusing. If you weren’t such a leftwing nut sack more people might read this.
Mike D…apparently you looked at the article. Oops. Looks like you spoke to soon. I wrote in response as a Gators fan and people followed me arguing, hey what do you know, college football and not politics. That makes Oliver a “left wing nut sack?” Why do you think it is so difficult for people to have a conversation on both sides? Its because of statements like yours. If that is the level of you intellect, fine. If you are smarter than your chosen language, why not elevate the discussion to show it?
GO GATORS!!!!!
Tebow shouldn’t be allowed in the league – years ago, Spurrier had Danny Waffleiron or something or other in the basement of Ben Hill Griffin. Spurrier also had a rhinoceros. Through the vigorous use of the animal husbandry skill (as one can do anything with it) Spurrier successfully mated the two. In short – Tebow is not human, but the sum of Rhino ejaculate, Waffle ass, and Spurrier tears (which one did you think the mom was?).
Go Seminoles!
That’s right, you heard me. Bastards.