’)It’s easy.
1. Claim that the product/service will revolutionize its industry, no matter how unlikely that is.
ie “Google Pies Will Make Your Kitchen Obsolete”
2. Make accusations versus people/organizations without actually checking.
ie “Apple’s iPods are eating your brains. A source we’ll only refer to as S. Ballmer assures us that this is probably true and says Zune(tm) is the only MP3 player that won’t eat your brains.”
3. Have your founder/editor always play the victim, and do so dramatically in public.
ie “I’ve suffered so much in publishing this site, that I’m going to retire to my remote mountain lair to count the money I make from it. Tear.”
4. Hold a conference, then require the companies you cover to pay to be involved, then – with a straight face – insist that has no influence on your coverage.
ie “You don’t want to come to our conference and pay to be an exhibitor? Sigh. Ok, but I’ve heard some rumors that your site causes rabies…”
I enjoy hyperbolic news media probably more than the average media consumer. But even your nuttiest British tabloid seems to exhibit more integrity than TechCrunch does in the tech media, and because they’re not covering the wider world of journalism they seem to get away with it.
BRILLIANT. Thank you for actually writing what I have been thinking for, oh, well forever.
You’re forgetting acquisitions.
1: Match one big company with one small company at random
2: Say source told you.
3: ???
4: Profit.
I think you over estimate the “wider media” if you think they are any better.
What a dumb post. TechCrunch has its faults (not many) but is overall an enjoyable read, mostly accurate and generally ahead of the curve.
You didn’t include a single shred of evidence to support any of your lame accusations. Can you point to one (ONE!) example of unjustified hyperbole or breach if integrity?
@jd:
Um, sure: the last.fm debacle(s). You quite pointedly just asked for “one (ONE!)”, so I’ll heed your request, but we could keep going if you change your mind.
Er… I think he already did…
@jd
LOL!! Oh puh-leeeeeeze!! You can READ, right? It’s a sad and well known FACT that this article is right on the money! New to the internet, eh?? Spend more than 2 minutes on TechCrunch with an IQ in the double-digits and it becomes painfully OBVIOUS. Get out much?
You *of course* couldn’t have ANYTHING to do with TechCrunch, right??
Noooooooooooo…..
You forgot “Disclaim any obligations to journalistic ethics and practice whenever someone calls you on your shit, as if that somehow makes it all okay”.
[...] Read more at Oliver Willis. [...]
Oh, and you DO know what the word “RELATED” means?? The one in BOLD right after the article??
Wake up. You’re making a huge ass of yourself.
Sure, there are plenty of examples. Right here: http://techcrunch.com
5. Make angry comments on Oliver’s blog under an assumed name
Sure.
[...] Things a VC would never say How your site can suck like TechCrunch June 15, 2009 DF (Via Oliver Willis): 3. Have your founder/editor always play the victim, and do so dramatically in public. ie [...]
hyperbole: http://www.crunchgear.com/2007/08/17/total-photoshop-killer-pixelmator/
http://www.techcrunch.com/2008/09/01/meet-chrome-googles-windows-killer/
breach of integrity: http://www.techcrunch.com/2009/02/20/did-lastfm-just-hand-over-user-listening-data-to-the-riaa/
I’m sure a publication full of hyperbole that had no regard for integrity *would* be a pretty enjoyable read, so long as you’re not in the industry.
Points 1-3 are interesting points – but mostly as provable as the UFO in Roswell.
Point 4 though – I was under the impression that the TechCrunch50 conference was not paid for and that is what makes it different from other conferences – you pay to attend – not to present and pitch.
The last point is very serious as TechCrunch play up the application process for the conference.
5. The trifecta. Fall for obvious hoaxes while making technical statement you don’t understand and insist the “hack” is revolutionary:
http://www.crunchgear.com/2009/06/14/iphone-os-on-a-touchscreen-monitor-multi-touch-and-all/
You’ve forgotten its endless obsession with twitter.
You’re forgetting:
— have your founder go on podcasts
— make a COMPLETE ass of himself (by questioning the ethics of a veteran journalist)
— and then issuing an apology the site that seems utterly strange and insincere
Don’t forget chastising and banning anyone who leaks information about your projects, even though everything you have or ever will have came from publishing leaked information.
You mean there are people that actually read techcrunch?
6. Be John Gruber.
“TimR: hyperbole”
I like when they do this. It makes me look wise, knowing, clever, discerning, etc. Techcrunch is wonderful for my self-esteem.
I think you are confusing i.e. and e.g.
I never went to techcrunch until Gruber mentioned it (negatively). I regret the few minutes of my life I lost while I was there. I see no reason to return.
If nobody goes, no money is made, it withers. But I don’t care about it enough to even suggest you stay away from it too.
[...] Some people, not Nancy, are a bit unhappy and need some therapy hehe : Your Publication Could Suck as Bad as Techcrunch. [...]