Fred Barnes Couldn’t Find A Way Out His Ass If You Gave Him A Flashlight And A Map
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It’s no coincidence that the man who writes the absurd claim that Hillary Clinton is from the center-right of the Democratic party is also the author of “Rebel in Chief: Inside the Bold and Controversial Presidency of George W. Bush.” Barnes clearly doesn’t do the judgement thing.
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The views on this site are mine and mine alone, and do not reflect the views of my employer, Media Matters for America

This is only vaguely related, but don’t you think it’s time to update this insult? “Fred Barnes couldn’t find a way out of his ass if you gave him a GPS device.” Works? Or not?
Nah. GPS is more modern tech. Barnes’ mindset of avoidance of analytical thought predates the scientific revolution. So if anything it should be “Fred Barnes couldn’t find a way out of his ass if you gave him a pitch torch and a map.”