Mark Penn Memo: After Wisconsin, Clinton Poised To Dominate

12:15 am EST February 20th, 2008 | News | 6 Comments

markpenn.jpgFrom: Mark Penn, Esq.


To: Interested Parties, The Media, And Crazed Pro-Clinton Bloggers Who Lap This Bull Up

Senator Clinton’s 41% showing in Tuesday night’s Wisconsin primary shows that she is well positioned to be the Democratic nominee. Using the eye of newt in a cauldron projection model, I can forecast that the big support among over-60 white women will deliver both Texas and Ohio for her. What I’ve done in order to make the data conform to my prediction – the patented Penn Maneuver ™ – is simply exclude any and all data unfavorable to Senator Clinton. For the purposes of these projections I’ve excluded:

* The male vote. Studies conducted by me and my socks show that males do not show up on election day.
* Women under 60. Senator Clinton is 60. There isn’t anybody under that age paying for my brilliant analysis to the tune of $4 million, so those votes don’t count.
* People under 60. See above.
* Minorities. Jesse Jackson won South Carolina, need I say more? Didn’t think so.

As I have argued for months, let us simply end the nomination process now and give it to Senator Clinton. Only her campaign has done what is necessary, which is to hire me, in order to sweep this thing up. She’s inevitable, because I said so. See what I wrote? I-n-e-v-i-t-a-b-l-e. I wrote it so it must be true, that’s the first rule of Microtrends.

Mark Penn
“We make the numbers do as you say”

Topic:

Related Posts

«
»

6 Responses to “Mark Penn Memo: After Wisconsin, Clinton Poised To Dominate”

  1. LeftHandedMan says:
    February 20, 2008 at 1:33 am

    The fact that nobody in Camp Clinton ever figured out that Mark Penn a moron who was absolutely killing them from day one tells me all I need to know about “we are the ones who can fight the GOP machine”. The only people happy about Penn right now are Bob Shrum and Susan Estrich for partially taking the ‘poster child for Democratic guru busts’ meme off of them.

    I also think Taylor Marsh and the rest of the Obama-Haters for Clinton are going to attempt to console themselves by methodically ripping him to shreds after this is all over. He’s gonna wish he stuck to union-busting.

  2. Bruce Godfrey says:
    February 20, 2008 at 1:54 am

    Had Penn been working for a Republican candidate, his strategy would have made somewhat more sense. Under a winner-take-all system, it’s a good idea to try to win big states close, conserve resources for the general. And if Penn were working for a Republican, his elitist instincts would probably serve him better as well, would be more useful.

    As it stands, he appears to be the only guy bringing an accordion to a Wu-Tang concert. Deliberately leaving caucuses open, small states open, red states open, etc., leaving all of those extra delegates on the table, needs to go down in the proverbs with no land wars in Asia.

    You know why KKT is supporting Mark Penn’s candidate? Because she’s grateful that there’s at least a contender for stupidest Democratic campaign alive to rival her infamous one. Yet she appears to be trying to help them win, which may be her way of shivving them.

  3. C.S.Strowbridge says:
    February 20, 2008 at 1:55 am

    Wow. Major win in Wisconsin. This should be enough to move poll numbers in the March 4th states.

    http://www.pollster.com/08-TX-Dem-Pres-Primary.php

    Texas was already trending to Obama and I assumed with a win he would be able to win this one, or at least come so close that Hillary Clinton wouldn’t be able to use the result to steady her campaign. However, now he should be able to win Texas by a statistically significant margin.

    As for Ohio…

    http://www.pollster.com/08-OH-Dem-Pres-Primary.php

    He has work to do. That said, closing the gap to less than 10% would be enough to prevent Hillary Clinton from getting any real bounce from the voting that day, and if he wins Texas by more that she wins Ohio, it is all over.

  4. C.S.Strowbridge says:
    February 20, 2008 at 2:01 am

    Forgot to mention, even though Hillary got spanked, she got more votes than all of the Republicans combined. And Huckabee continues to earn a lot of votes.

  5. Quaker in a Basement says:
    February 20, 2008 at 11:37 am

    From: Mr. Q. Basement
    To: Propective Democratic Candidates from Now Until the End of All Time

    Hire this man at your peril.

    That is all.

  6. duros62 says:
    February 20, 2008 at 12:05 pm

    And if Penn were working for a Republican, his elitist instincts would probably serve him better as well, would be more useful.

    You mean he isn’t? I couldn’t tell. Clearly, he subscribes to the Neocon notion that reality is soooo pre-9/11 and, who was it, Norquist who said “we create our own reality”?