(WASHINGTON) — First Lady Laura Bush explained today that talks had broken down with her husband, President George W. Bush due to his repeated substitution of foreplay with the phrase “we’re at war”. “I told George that while I understand his job is difficult, saying that we’re at war doesn’t magically get me to third base,” said Mrs. Bush. White House records indicate that since March of 2003 President Bush has invoked the spectre of wartime marital relations at least 300 times.
Asked for comment, President Bush plaintively wailed “We’re at war. I don’t see why Laura can’t get that through her head. Al Qaeda wants me to snuggle her, tell her she looks pretty and woo her into bed. If we do any more than ‘wham, bam, thank you commander in chief’ the terrorists have won.”
Records indicate that after the formal declaration of war against Japan in December of 1941, former President Franklin Roosevelt only had one objection against “doing the vertical Charleston” registered with the Department of Transportation by First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt.
Good thing for Bush, that war talk always works on Dick Cheney.
Laura should hold out until Jeff Gannon gets out of their closet.
That is a wholly and utterly unrealistic portrayal of the situation.
Everyone knows that Bush would use “we’re at war” to get anal.
with big dick and all the bush in the white house, laura’s getting something.
Come on, Oliver, don’t be silly.
George Bush having sex? Not likely.