Jeremy Shockey On The Meaninglessness Of Preseason Football

2:38 am EST August 23rd, 2007 | Uncategorized | 3 Comments

Thank you, Onion.

NEW YORK— Struggling to find purpose in life after his realization that the Giants’ 13-12 victory over the Ravens Sunday night would have no bearing on the team’s standings, tight end Jeremy Shockey has been questioning whether preseason games have any purpose, meaning, or even reality in and of themselves. "What the fuck is the fucking point of even striving, and being human, erring in the process, if nothing is accomplished by doing so?" Shockey asked reporters after the game while solemnly stroking the tattoo of a bald eagle wrapped in an American flag that adorns his right bicep. "It’s like one of those fucking, what do you call them, paradoxes, in which one believes that this goddamned game is important enough to show up for, while at the same time you perceive that your one catch for 18 yards doesn’t actually count for shit."

ALSO, this one made me laugh out loud: Peyton Manning Shows His Backup Proper Way To Hold Clipboard


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3 Responses to “Jeremy Shockey On The Meaninglessness Of Preseason Football”

  1. Waveflux says:
    August 23, 2007 at 7:40 am

    Funny. I imagine this is actually pretty close to what Shockey really thinks.

  2. RedBastardGod says:
    August 23, 2007 at 7:19 pm

    Preseason football is an opportunity for fans to pay full ticket prices so they can see their favorite players get injured in a meaningless game. Makes sense to someone other than me.

  3. Cazart Bavaro says:
    August 24, 2007 at 6:13 pm

    Shockey’s never put together that many big words in his life.

    But for all his faults, he’s still not a sorry-ass Washington Redskin. Bwahahahahahaha!