Dear D.C. Visitors And Tourists, Please Listen Up

1:49 am EST August 11th, 2007 | Uncategorized | 14 Comments

dc metroOh my God, it is about time. These people, especially between June-September, just plop themselves down on the left hand side of the escalator like they were planted there.

Stand to the RIGHT, already.

That has been the eternal plea — grumbled, spoken, yelled and otherwise communicated — of impatient Metro commuters stuck on escalators because tourists don’t realize that in big, important Washington, you stand to the right so all the Type A people can hurry past on the left.

For the first time in its history, Metro has started telling them.

“Hi. Welcome to Metro,” the station announcement begins. “We have a lot of escalators in our system. You’ll notice that most people stand on the right side. And while you’re riding, hold the handrail for your safety. Enjoy your trip, and thank you for riding Metro.”

The announcement is one of a series that the agency has recently recorded to ever-so-gently remind riders of the system’s rules, customs and quirks, including escalator etiquette and train-door operation.

We love that you’re here to visit. You’ll enjoy the heck out of it. But please, move out of the freaking way.

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14 Responses to “Dear D.C. Visitors And Tourists, Please Listen Up”

  1. August J. Pollak says:
    August 11, 2007 at 1:54 am

    Jesus. I can’t believe it took, what, thirty years for them to start doing this?

  2. Oliver Willis says:
    August 11, 2007 at 1:56 am

    At least!

  3. Misplaced Patriot says:
    August 11, 2007 at 10:39 am

    Hmm, in Toronto, there were little notes attached to the escalator. “Stand to the right, walk to the left.” It was easy to catch on, and I wondered why no other city did it.

    Make it obvious that there is a simple rule, and most Americans will see the rightness and justness of it.

  4. Soullite says:
    August 11, 2007 at 10:46 am

    This is a stupid policy. Sure, it might be rude to block the entire oscillator, but at the same time this won’t change anyone’s behavior for the same reason all that yelling never did anything.

    People will resent abrasive people who believe themselves to be more important than the person standing on the oscillator. That will make them more likely to obstruct people, because people don’t like to be made to feel small.

    The smarter idea would have been to make a ramp or a set of stairs. That way, people will naturally gravitate towards the style of locomotion that they prefer.

  5. david w donnell says:
    August 11, 2007 at 10:59 am

    When you’re finished with the escalators in DC would you kindly come to NYC and deal with the pedestrians walking on the left on our sidewalks?

    And it’s not just tourists: locals don’t seem to get it either, including my ex-girlfriends and now my wife.

    I’ve considered getting a t-shirt with huge block letters saying KEEP RIGHT. (Alas, it might be interpreted as a political message.)

  6. Duros62 says:
    August 11, 2007 at 11:06 am

    Please don’t stand on the oscillator. It makes me quiver.

  7. Thomas says:
    August 11, 2007 at 2:11 pm

    Type A people can hurry past on the left.

    I’m not sure I like the implications of that statement.

  8. Rodney says:
    August 11, 2007 at 4:08 pm

    I lived in London (UK) for years and it was the same – you always stand on the right on the escalators in tube stations (I think there are even notices to that effect). And it was always annoying that tourists would dawdle on the left and get in the way if you were running for a train. At least now we know they’re not from Washington …

  9. mdhatter says:
    August 11, 2007 at 7:48 pm

    Wouldn’t want gridlock in Washington…..

  10. StarkyLuv says:
    August 11, 2007 at 9:50 pm

    I know Wahsingtonians have this weird thing where they think their city is the pinnacle of society (I’m from Chicago, and the air of superiority in this area is ammusing) but this problem of people stand all over on the escalator happens EVERYWHERE. In every big city.

  11. Oliver Willis says:
    August 12, 2007 at 2:15 am

    where they think their city is the pinnacle of society

    Unlike NYC or Chicago, we’ve got this building, this building and this one, so yeah, the pinnacle is here. :)

  12. Bruce/Crablaw says:
    August 14, 2007 at 2:56 am

    I have considered preparing a “dear dumb***” YouTube or slideshow on “how to ride the Metro.” Step 1: how to stand in a place other than immediately in front of the ^&#()*$# door – walking tips. Step 2: how to obey the driver, native Mid-Atlantic English speaker version (non-Anglophone visitors excused). Step 3: how not to catch your backpack in the door like a visiting hayseed from rural Utah. Step 4. how to ride the escalator in countries where they drive on the right. Step 5: how to read a “next train in 2 minutes” sign, and use that info to not jump into a hopeless packed train car. Step 6: Hydraulics for Politicos 101 – why passengers must leave a packed Metro car before more can board.

    My own theory is that the passenger pool average IQ will improve once the GOP “talent” [sic] pool of hacks, flacks, tools, whores and weenies takes their “heckuva job” back to Bob Jones University or Regent Law School [sic] or their alumni associations and gets replaced by public servants who actually want to serve the country well.

  13. kmlypcwrj bhjvgois says:
    September 21, 2007 at 5:05 am

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  14. kmlypcwrj bhjvgois says:
    September 21, 2007 at 5:05 am

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