NASCAR: Drive Fast

3:29 pm EST August 1st, 2007 | Uncategorized | 10 Comments

This is why blue state liberals like me make fun of NASCAR. Hehehe.


NASCAR Coach Reveals Winning Strategy: ‘Drive Fast’

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10 Responses to “NASCAR: Drive Fast”

  1. cellulose says:
    August 1, 2007 at 5:08 pm

    Is ONN produced by the folks who put together Half Hour News Hour?

    This rates about a -3.

  2. Kevin says:
    August 1, 2007 at 6:51 pm

    The Onion News Network… get it, The Onion – satire.

    Though, it’s so close to reality I understand the confusion.

  3. QrazyQat says:
    August 1, 2007 at 7:38 pm

    Well, as old-timer motorcycle racer Dick Mann used to say about racing on dirttrack ovals, you just go down to the turn and turn left and keep doing it until you see the checkered flag.

    But then golf is just hit the ball from here into that hole, basketball is just run down to there and throw the ball through the hoop. All sports are easy to do. Hard to do really well.

  4. C.S.Strowbridge says:
    August 1, 2007 at 11:43 pm

    “But then golf is just hit the ball from here into that hole, basketball is just run down to there and throw the ball through the hoop. All sports are easy to do. Hard to do really well.”

    Except just about every other form of auto racing has a more difficult track. Take a look at the Formula 1 race tracks and compare them to Nascar.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Formula_One_circuits

  5. Jay says:
    August 2, 2007 at 8:37 am

    Except just about every other form of auto racing has a more difficult track. Take a look at the Formula 1 race tracks and compare them to Nascar.

    The type of track has nothing to do with the difficulty of racing. If NASCAR were such a breeze as opposed to Formula 1, then Juan Pablo Montoya would be running circles around the competition since he made the jump to NASCAR this year. Instead, he’s languishing in 18th place and the only win he has came on a road course because of a fuel mileage gamble.

    Don’t get me wrong. Montoya is a talented driver and he’s going to have some success. But it’s just ignorant for people to assume driving a 3500 lb car up to speeds of 200mph is ‘easy’ simply because they race on circular based track.

  6. Quaker in a Basement says:
    August 2, 2007 at 11:02 am

    I have never quite understood how operating machinery qualifies as a sport.

  7. Ian - Patriot says:
    August 2, 2007 at 1:41 pm

    Wait — Oliver, I thought Maryland was a “moderately liberal” state .. bwahahaha. Your words, not mine.

  8. Gravypan says:
    August 2, 2007 at 7:08 pm

    Whether or not one considers NASCAR a ‘sport’ is an individual’s perogative. Point is that not just anybody can hop into a stock car and win going 200 MPH and turning left all day long.

    What I find ironic about all this is the head coach of Oliver’s favorite football is an owner of one of the biggest and most well known race teams in NASCAR. I guess Joe Gibbs is a redneck, too, right?

  9. Oliver Willis says:
    August 3, 2007 at 1:39 am

    Joe Gibbs is a saint who walks on water, but that doesn’t mean he’s without fault :)

    Look, I tried to watch NASCAR. I really tried. Even in high def unless a car slams into something every lap, it is soooooo boring.

  10. Oliver Willis says:
    August 3, 2007 at 1:40 am

    BTW, Ian, you are so stupid. Explain how “blue state” and “moderately liberal” are contradictory. Show your work, you aren’t submitting this paper to Malkin, Breitbart, & Co.