Open Letter To Beyonce Knowles, Because I Have No Doubt That Beyonce Reads My Blog Between Concert Dates

2:57 am EST June 26th, 2007 | Uncategorized | 5 Comments

Dear Beyonce,

I am aware that Jay-Z has lint that’s worth more than everything I own, and I understand that he has mansions and designer clothes while I have an apartment and the only thing designer I’ve got is a three-year-old FUBU shirt and Tommy Hilfiger jeans I bought because it had really big pockets. BUT, if you decided to come over to my place to lounge I have furniture you can sit on and if you chose to lay on the floor – for ANY reason – I have carpet and not hard metal that would leave indentations in your skin.

Think About It,
Oliver

P.S. He smokes and I don’t. Think of the (future) kids!
P.P.S. I am also a member of the New World Order. That must be at least as good as a Grammy or maybe an MTV Video Music Award?

Beyoncemetalfloor

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5 Responses to “Open Letter To Beyonce Knowles, Because I Have No Doubt That Beyonce Reads My Blog Between Concert Dates”

  1. mestizO says:
    June 26, 2007 at 11:58 am

    nice. heh.

  2. Frank says:
    June 26, 2007 at 12:45 pm

    I don’t see how she could resist that offer. I would start rearranging the furniture. Wonder how she feels about dogs?

  3. Marty says:
    June 27, 2007 at 12:42 pm

    She kinda looks like a young Whitney Houston in that picture. You know- before Bobby Brown and the crack and all. (Although Whitney never looked like “that” from the back.)

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    September 20, 2007 at 7:26 am

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