This is too funny.
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That’s hilarious…but Fight Club is now totally ruined for me.
Left out a few:
“It was the guy on the floor that whole time.”
“Wife’s head was in the box.”
“That’s not really his daughter.”
“Nope, turns out he was Yuri.”
“He’s had it with those motherf$%king snakes on that motherf$%king plane.”
“Kong does not survive the fall.”
And as a pre-emptive:
“No, they’re never getting off the damn island, and you’ll never understand why.”
“Marty does indeed go back to the future.”
“The Joker dies.”
“Simba becomes king.”
“Forrest finds Jenny. She dies.”
“They Find Nemo.”
“Actually its not Jason Vorhees, but his mother.”
“He still knows what you did last summer.”
“Okay, now its Jason Vorhees.”
“Its Neve Campbell’s Boyfriend, then its the Reporter, then its the Director.”
“She kills Bill, it turns out.”
“Of course thats Superman’s kid.”
“The Titanic sinks.”
“Its still Jason Vorhees.”
“Oh, also she still had the Heart of the Sea with her, she was just dicking with the salvage crew.”
“Indiana Jones drowned his mistress so Catwoman wouldnt find out, then tries to kill her for finding out.”
“It continues to be Jason Vorhees.”
“Turns out the French actually did have the Holy Grail.”
“Main character feels betrayed, loses mind, everyine dies.” (All of Shakespeare)
“Rocky wins by losing, then he wins by winning, then he goes to Russia because Creed dies and everyone stops caring for 20 years.”
“Its Jason Vorhees in Spaaaaaaaaace.”
“Luthor is bald.”
“Aeris dies.”
“Gilderoy Lockhart is a fraud.”
“It was all a dream.”
“It was all an elaborate hoax.”
“Bill Murray saves the day.”
“It turns out he’s the reincarnation of Dracula.”
“Hitler’s head explodes.”
“Toto got screwed.”
It was all a game.