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Jessica Alba Makes The Case For Why She And Not Lindsay Lohan Should Have Been #1 On Maxim’s Hot 100

There is no way someone (with a brain) could look at these pictures of Jessica Alba then crown Lindsay freaking Lohan anything but a distant #50. Maxim Magazine, this is why I let my subscription lapse. You’ve lost the pulse of the people.

Jessica Alba is PEOPLE!!!!!!

Jessica_alba_gq_water
Jessicaalbapanda
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More here. Go to the mountain top. Tell the world.

(But Jessica, no way in hell I pay money to see you with the talentless and unfunny Dane Cook. Fantastic Four, yes. Dane Cook, no.)

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16 Responses to “Jessica Alba Makes The Case For Why She And Not Lindsay Lohan Should Have Been #1 On Maxim’s Hot 100”

  1. klyde says:

    You had a subscribtion to Maxim? Jebus

  2. Lindsay freaking Lohan probably won’t win again as her career, and her time in the spotlight, are soon to be over.

    On a side note, I might be doing a review of Good Luck Chuck, but probably not till it comes out on DVD.

  3. WTF is with that first photo? I’d love to get with Alba, but I think I’d draw the line at doing her when she was in a persistent vegetative state.

  4. Jay says:

    I guess drooling is now supposed to be sexy? It’s sexy when you see a woman with water falling over her. It’s not sexy when somebody poses like they’re a stroke victim. Even if it is Alba.

    As for Maxim, I don’t what their editors have been smoking, but these days, I’ve seen mailboxes that are sexier than Lindsay Lohan.

  5. Nimrod Gently says:

    “You had a subscribtion to Maxim? Jebus”

    Quoted for truth.

  6. Duros62 says:

    I’ve seen mailboxes that are sexier than Lindsay Lohan.
    Posted by: Jay |

    ROFL!!! That was good.

    First Drew Barrymore and now Lidsay Lohan? More proof that there is no integrity in the media anymore, just corporate overlords.

  7. dan says:

    The first picture, a stroke victim? Wow. you really nead a gf oliver.

  8. Danny says:

    At least Lohan is a better choice than Scarlett Johanssen. I cannot understand for the life of me how that girl makes so many top 100 lists. Yeah Yeah she has a good build, but her face is ugly.

    Jessica Alba is the Marilyn Monroe . . . the Racquel Welch of this time. Today, no other star matches her in beauty.

  9. “At least Lohan is a better choice than Scarlett Johanssen. I cannot understand for the life of me how that girl makes so many top 100 lists. Yeah Yeah she has a good build, but her face is ugly.”

    Are you nuts? Scarlett is one of the hottest women out there. And, when she was approached by Cruise his cul…. religious buddies, she ran.

  10. Duros62 says:

    Was the first picture taken after a dentist visit, perhaps? That’s just weird.

  11. Trakker says:

    Um, I’m still not convinced, Oliver. Could you post some more of Alba? Maybe 20 or so…or 30?

  12. Quaker in a Basement says:

    Yes, that first pic is weird, but not because of the water running out of her mouth. It’s weird because you can see her ribs.

    She needs a double cheeseburger.

  13. Danny says:

    “Are you nuts? Scarlett is one of the hottest women out there. ”

    Damn Scarlett has a good PR guy. Must have paid you off too!

    Jessica, however, is the fairest of all.

  14. Acanthus says:

    http://www.590klbj.com/News/Story.aspx?ID=68139

    Alright gentlemen, let the stupidity begin!

  15. Bucky says:

    That first picture shows you exactly why she lost–what a horrible drinking problem she has!

  16. Chuck says:

    You’re right! You’re, you’re, you’re goddamn right!