Dear People Magazine, You Are On Crack

8:21 pm EST April 25th, 2007 | Uncategorized | 32 Comments

You’ve got to be kidding me. People Magazine is naming Drew Barrymore as #1 on its “Most Beautiful People” list? Barrymore is not even in the top 1,000! In an entertainment world with Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel, Beyonce, Halle Berry, Scarlett Johansson and Jessica Simpson somehow Drew freaking Barrymore tops off the list? She was fine in “50 First Dates” and all but this isn’t even someone who you could give a pass to for being a good actress. Clearly somebody must be spreading that Barrymore money around in People’s offices, or it’s the crack.

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32 Responses to “Dear People Magazine, You Are On Crack”

  1. OrganicGeorge says:

    YOU ARE SHOCKED TO DISCOVER GAMBLING AT RICK’S!

    Yea one of her people bought the cover, she has a new movie coming out and needs a bump since the it appears to be another dog.

    What part of Hollywood don’t you understand

  2. Rainlion says:

    Oliver: Word…

    regardlesso of occasional disagreements over politics, social mores and etiquette – I haven’t really found fault w/ your esthetic sensibilities… so if now “People Magazine” is supposedly expressing some great… deeper definition of beauty (overcoming personal trials, etc., blah, blah, blah…) I can also think of a helluva lot of women who deserve the title (all around) more than the drewster…

  3. rainlion says:

    and despite my typos… or perhaps because of my rush to type… I forgot to send a “hell ya…” to the real OG (organic george) who also makes an excellent point :)

  4. Alice says:

    Not crack, just a simple question of crony journalism. Barrymore is the star of Lyrics and Music, a Warner Brothers movie.

    TimeWarner owns People magazine, people pimps Warner Brothers stars.
    http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1809276825/photo/970423840

    I have told Brock many times that Media Matters needs a media business analyst.

  5. jerry says:

    Are you kidding me? Jessica Simpson’s knees are way too sharp.

  6. I was almost in agreement till I got to Jessica Simpson. She’s too dumb to be beautiful.

  7. merlallen says:

    maybe they saw the porn shoot she did a while back.
    Personally, I think facials are ugly, maybe they like them.

  8. Organic George says:

    Yikes, we may have something in common.

    My wife, who’s novels are found in bookstores everywhere, says you “write beautifully” but she also is concerned about you being so heavy at this young age.

    We love ya, just want you to beat the odds and live a long life.

  9. Thad says:

    You know, I have a soft spot for Drew, possibly because she was the cover girl on the first Playboy I snuck from my dad. (Course, that was, what, 1996?) I’d probably put her ahead of most of the ladies on your list (ESPECIALLY Jessica Simpson). But not Halle. I don’t think anyone beats Halle.

  10. Duros62 says:

    Jessica Simpson’s knees are way too sharp.

    She has knees?

  11. drydock says:

    drew? crack and smack.

  12. fd10801 says:

    See what happens when you let just any old body vote?!?

    Any “smoke filled room” in the country would have picked Naomi Watts, Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel, Halle Berry, Scarlett Johansson, or my choice for Numero Uno: Charlize Theron

  13. Duros62 says:

    On this, Frank, I agree with you.

  14. michael says:

    Seriously, if you guys don’t want Drew, I’ll put in my bid.

    But I still will hold out for Zooey Deschanel.

  15. Lisa says:

    Please tell me that this article meant OTHER pictures being without make up and not the ones they are showing, as each is drowning in make up. That’s as ridiculous as the mascara ads that show models and actresses with 2 layers of false eyelashes saying “Look how fabulous my lashes look!”

  16. Mimi says:

    Where are the photos “without makeup”? Every actress mentioned (except maybe Halle Berry) has on tons of makeup. I don’t think we even want to see Drew without her makeup. Geeze, what a ditz she is, AND she’s very ordinary looking. I have to agree that someone is paying somebody to have her #1 on the list.

  17. Kim says:

    I agree last time I checked, Indian actress Aishwarya Rai was voted “World’s most beautiful”. She barely wears makeup, no anorexic nerversa, weave, color contacts just nothing but pure natural beauty. Where the hell did Drew Barymore come from? the only time I ever thought she was beautiful is when she played that pyscho teen in Poison Ivy. Nowadays she looks coked out. She is definately not more beautiful than Angelina, this is bullshit.

  18. Lisa says:

    I agree……not a one of these ladies was without makeup. And if you are trying to say they are, bad on you! We aren’t stupid, unless it’s for reading this drivel.

  19. tonja says:

    The last time I walked down the aisle at the grocery store labeled make-up it carried many items. For a person like me that only wears mascara on occasion and no make-up I feel that I have not been blessed. I want to have two inch long,thick lashes and pink, red and even mauve lips. I want my pale skin to glow at just the slightest light. Shame on you People Magazine, I shall just keep tunneling threw my anthill that I have been working on for years.

  20. tonja says:

    Glad I didn’t spend my last few crumbs on buying this magazine myself.

  21. Gary frundel says:

    Thank God, there are others making comments about this stupid NO MAKE-UP edition from People. The only ones in that group without makeup were the guys,and then I wonder about Leo. And its sad but true the Barymore money must be puttin out. Cute, maybe, can’t act,definately, beautiful,NOT,no makeup,NEVER.

  22. badgimp says:

    can we give a shout out to Angelina?

    CanI?
    http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v102/ronsheridan/angelina.jpg

    Those lips alone could start a War!

  23. Elder says:

    No makeup? What planet do you live on? Look at the photos–heavy eye shadow, liner, mascara. Lip gloss Eyes look gorgeous, but any female can see makeup! Your writers must be males, easily fooled. Of course they are wearing lots of eye makeup!

  24. Joan says:

    What a load of hogwash! Every one of those so called “beauties without make-up” is wearing false eyelashes, a 1/4 pound of mascara, blush, penciled eyebrows, and lipstick! So, what part of their faces is without makeup?

  25. karolinacity says:

    Shakespeare said that “There is no excellent beauty that hath not some strangeness in the proportion.” This means something arresting, something different, something that sets a face (or whatever) apart from the ordinary. I was SO GLAD to see some savvy readers out there commenting on the supposed “no makeup” look of these good-looking, but hardly extraordinary ladies. It reminds me of the TV commercials that promote the “next best” mascara and use a model with obviously false eyelashes! Good & symmetrical proportions make a person pretty or even very pretty. It is the “something else” that makes real beauty, the kind that you remember and that sets itself apart from the rest. Remember that Ann Curry was #1 one year? Shes has a memorable face! Not the girl-next-store face. Some of the girls this year aren’t even that pretty!!! Just famous, I guess.

  26. karolinacity says:

    Shakespeare said that “There is no excellent beauty that hath not some strangeness in the proportion.” This means something arresting, something different, something that sets a face (or whatever) apart from the ordinary. I was SO GLAD to see some savvy readers out there commenting on the supposed “no makeup” look of these good-looking, but hardly extraordinary ladies. It reminds me of the TV commercials that promote the “next best” mascara and use a model with obviously false eyelashes! Good & symmetrical proportions make a person pretty or even very pretty. It is the “something else” that makes real beauty, the kind that you remember and that sets itself apart from the rest. Remember that Ann Curry was #1 one year? Shes has a memorable face! Not the girl-next-store face. Some of the girls this year aren’t even that pretty!!! Just famous, I guess.

  27. karolinacity says:

    Shakespeare said that “There is no excellent beauty that hath not some strangeness in the proportion.” This means something arresting, something different, something that sets a face (or whatever) apart from the ordinary. I was SO GLAD to see some savvy readers out there commenting on the supposed “no makeup” look of these good-looking, but hardly extraordinary ladies. It reminds me of the TV commercials that promote the “next best” mascara and use a model with obviously false eyelashes! Good & symmetrical proportions make a person pretty or even very pretty. It is the “something else” that makes real beauty, the kind that you remember and that sets itself apart from the rest. Remember that Ann Curry was #1 one year? Shes has a memorable face! Not the girl-next-store face. Some of the girls this year aren’t even that pretty!!! Just famous, I guess.

  28. karolinacity says:

    Shakespeare said that “There is no excellent beauty that hath not some strangeness in the proportion.” This means something arresting, something different, something that sets a face (or whatever) apart from the ordinary. I was SO GLAD to see some savvy readers out there commenting on the supposed “no makeup” look of these good-looking, but hardly extraordinary ladies. It reminds me of the TV commercials that promote the “next best” mascara and use a model with obviously false eyelashes! Good & symmetrical proportions make a person pretty or even very pretty. It is the “something else” that makes real beauty, the kind that you remember and that sets itself apart from the rest. Remember that Ann Curry was #1 one year? Shes has a memorable face! Not the girl-next-store face. Some of the girls this year aren’t even that pretty!!! Just famous, I guess.

  29. “Shakespeare said that “There is no excellent beauty that hath not some strangeness in the proportion.” This means something arresting, something different, something that sets a face (or whatever) apart from the ordinary.”

    Jessica Alba shares a birthday with Penélope Cruz and I think your quote perfectly matches these two faces. While many would say Penélope Cruz’s nose is a little too big for her face, I think it is this feature that sets her apart. It gives her character and makes here stand out in a crowd, and that’s what’s alluring about her.

  30. Shelby and Sabrina says:

    Actually,Drew Barrymore is very pretty. Halle is pretty too. Our fav actress is Jennifer Lopez. Jennifer is pretty.

  31. Shelby and Sabrina says:

    Oliver we think your the one on crack.

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