That’s the only explanation for something like GodTube. Where else could one learn that atheists fear bananas. Jesus. No, literally, Jesus.
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March 20th, 2007
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Yikes! You said it! You spoke the name of The-Fruit-That-Must-Not-Be-Named!
Aieeee!!!!!
/runs away
The man knows how to fondle a banana. I’m just sayin’.
But that b*n*na also fits the hand of a monkey!
Coincidence? I think not!
I don’t see the problem…
If God didn’t want us to eat bananas, he wouldn’t have made them yellow made them so easy to peel…
Wait a minute! If God didn’t make bananas, how come they turn black in the refrigerator, but you can still eat them?
Answer me that, heathen!
You figure this guy even realizes that monkeys eat bananas backwards?
Just asking, on account of how knowledgeable he must be to realize that Fruit Characteristics -> Evolution disproved.
Or put another way: Creationism = Bananas
*sigh*
NATURAL SELECTION EXPLAINS ALL THESE THINGS TOO YOU FUCKING MORON
Is that voice Australian, South African, Kiwi or what?
Tenuously related:
link
Looks like God really f-ed up
when he made all those other kinds of fruit. No wonder He didn’t want Adam and Eve eating the apple, it was a failed prototype.
Rex, it looks like we are the ones eating them backwards.
these two dudes twist christian teachings around in the most devious of ways.
i have been observing these two fellows for years now.
i believe they are satan’s spawn, and have turned themselves over to the dark side of life.
it’s a real shame what they are doing with the teachings of the new testament in context to an average sinner’s life. to twist those books & verses into a blunt force object in the name of strict adherence to the ‘way of the master’ is total & complete blasphemy.
as someone who studied the new testament both at sunday school and during mandated religion courses throughout grade school & high school, i hope to run into those two guys on a street during one of their show’s production runs.
but i am sure my recorded segment would land on the editing room floor.
i have public forum debate skillz just as well trained and calibrated for my purposes in life. the difference is i am not co-dependent on another person, of the same belief structure right by my side, to ‘back me up’ while the camera’s rolling.
whenever i tune into that show, i practically fall over laughing at how serious those two idiot are about what they are doing to other people. the fact that the show itself is portrayed as serious christian missionary work is revolting.
Speak for yourself, I eat them the same way that monkeys do.
I can’t figure out why anyone would do otherwise.
Oook!
Hmm…
A fine example of Panglossianism.
“It is demonstrably true,” he would say, “that things cannot be other than as they are. For, everything having been made for a purpose, everything is necessarily for the best purpose. Observe how noses were made to bear spectacles, and so we have spectacles. Legs are evidently devised to be clad in breeches, and breeches we have. Stones were formed in such a way that they can be hewn and made into castles, and so His Lordship has a very beautiful castle. The greatest baron in the province must be the best lodged. And since pigs were made to be eaten, we eat pork all the year round. Consequently, those who have argued that all is well have been talking nonsense. They should have said that all is for the best.”
From Voltaire, Candide. trans. Roger Pearson (Oxford: Oxford University Press, 1990) {via http://wiki.cotch.net/index.php/Panglossianism }
Seems they haven’t read “Candide”
Clearly, pineapples are the devil’s work.
While the banana is commonly known as “the atheist’s nightmare,” the nickname of the pomegranate (e.g., “the atheist’s wet dream”) is more obscure.
Rex Mundane Guilty of humorcide: Mar 20, 2007 12:46:45 PM
God,atheists are dreary!
God,atheists are dreary!
You know I’m not an atheist right? I mean you know, not that truth is all that consequential to you but Ive said it about a thousand times here that I believe god exists, I just think all organized religion is evil… oh wait, knowing you I actually can. nvm.
…can see how you would manage to confuse me for something I’m obviously not is what that should read. Just woke up
Maybe I meant you took the humor out of the thread AND atheists are dreary.
Besides, if you believe ALL organized religion is evil, then your belief in God must be, at best (and here I am being EXTREMELY diplomatic) unconventional.
What is “nvm”? Little Orphan Annie Ovaltine Decoder Ring code for “bye”?
And your defensiveness and reflexive attack of me is tediously predictable, and hence, ineffectual.
So you made a comment on atheists apropos of nothing except the Mike Seaver’s friend saying they have nightmares of bananas then? And consider it extremely diplomatic to concede that someone might have come to accept the existence of God outside of (and in spite of) specific religious dogma? You think I must otherwise what, have been lying about it? You change what you said after I call you on it being false and I’m defensive? You wait till the thread’s been dead for hours to call me unfunny but I’m the one who attacks reflexively? And not only must you have never heard it before, but you cant even work out that “nvm” means NeVerMind? I… know what, fuck it, youre not worth the trouble arguing with. You hereby lose all treating-you-seriously priviledges.
What better way to get seeds to spread further than the radius of how big your tree can grow than to evolve tasty fruit? Having a reasonably tough skin helps keep insects from getting too much, making the fruit large and otherwise easy to get to ensures larger creatures with large territories eat the fruit and poop it out far away…
Hey, Rex, you could always follow Oliver’s suggestion and ignore me.
I don’t expect it — I’m not that lucky.
Oh, and don’t worry my losing “treating-you-seriously privileges”.
a) You never treated me seriously. You’re a pretentious, arrogant, self – loathing buffoon.
b) I have tried to treat you seriously, but you’re belligerent, and have an undeserved chip on your shoulder.
Basically, you ain’t all that.
I don’t expect miracles from a kid who plays video games, and names himself after a backwater radio station character.
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