Elitist Bill O’Reilly Demands Fresh Croissants, Personal Helicopter

8:40 pm EST March 20th, 2007 | News | 15 Comments

Bill O'ReillyConservative talk icon Bill O’Reilly acts like he’s just a regular guy, but according to some talk show hosts who worked with O’Reily at an L.A. station the truth is a different beast, indeed.

Apparently, he was not pleased with the efforts staffers had made for him. In particular, he was extremely unhappy with the croissants that were laid out for him.

Not because he is against the French and everything they have to offer. No, that would almost show some character on his part. I mean, it would be obnoxious, but consistent with his professed beliefs, so you’d have to give him points for walking the walk.

No this was a bigger problem. Much bigger.

The croissants were not fresh enough.

Apparently, there is no room for store bought baked goods in the No Spin Zone. They must be from a bakery. And they must be baked fresh, very fresh. Which is why he insisted that a baker in Beverly Hills be summoned to create a fresh batch, just for him. Post haste.

Because Bill is just folks, you know. A regular guy.

He followed that up by demanding that a helicopter take him to Orange County for his next appearance, because he didn’t want to spend an hour in the limousine the station had arranged for him. That was too much to ask.

Salt of the earth. Just plain folks, lookin’ out for you.

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15 Responses to “Elitist Bill O’Reilly Demands Fresh Croissants, Personal Helicopter”

  1. Hollywood_Freaks says:
    March 20, 2007 at 8:50 pm

    OT: I love the new look of the site. Nice job!

  2. Wilbur says:
    March 20, 2007 at 8:51 pm

    I agree with Bill: store-bought croissants are crap.

  3. Wilbur says:
    March 20, 2007 at 8:52 pm

    Yeah, new site looks great!

  4. Joe says:
    March 20, 2007 at 10:50 pm

    Oliver – the site looks amazing!
    It’s a pity our resident crew of short bus riders (Frank, pedro, etc.) are going to stink it up again in no time flat.

    oliverwillis.com: The only liberal blog in the world where the right-wingers are in charge, and the liberals feel like the trolls.

  5. midderpidge says:
    March 20, 2007 at 10:59 pm

    According to Paris Business Daily, the fresh croissants are part of the treaty the French signed when they surrendered to Bill O’Reilly so he would call off his boycott which was crippling the country.

  6. PD100 says:
    March 21, 2007 at 12:25 am

    What? No falafel made from scratch?

  7. fd10801 says:
    March 21, 2007 at 7:07 am

    That Bill O’Reilly! Acting like a TV star…

  8. Brad Eleven says:
    March 21, 2007 at 7:24 am

    I think Bill may actually be unconsciously engaged in the process of becoming Stephen Colbert.

  9. Arthur D. Hlavaty says:
    March 21, 2007 at 7:33 am

    Perhaps it’s part of his program of sexualizing everyday objacts and foods.

  10. EB says:
    March 21, 2007 at 8:42 am

    I understand he likes fresh falafels too. He IS consistent.

  11. fd10801 says:
    March 21, 2007 at 11:20 am

    Hey, Joe: Here are some words of wisdom for you — Go fuck yourself…

  12. Beans says:
    March 21, 2007 at 11:54 am

    Yea, Joe how dare you attack Frank on his own blog! Go back to condipundit where you belong!

  13. fd10801 says:
    March 21, 2007 at 1:46 pm

    Beans, condipundit hasn’t been in operation since well before SEP 2006.

  14. Quaker in a Basement says:
    March 21, 2007 at 6:31 pm

    Were you born in a barn, OW?

    Don’t you know all us regular folks have fresh-baked pastries served to us by personal assistants every day?

    Mr. O’Reilly is just one of the guys.

  15. doug r says:
    March 21, 2007 at 11:42 pm

    Hey, it’s “Chopper Billo”. Maybe he can do live traffic on the way?