Press Release Of The Year

11:43 am EST October 24th, 2006 | Politics, Republicans | 3 Comments

So I was channel surfing and I happened to run across a debate on C-SPAN for the Arizona 8th district. It was strictly a cable access affair, with the candidates speaking at a community college questioned by a local reporter – crowded because in addition to the Democrat and Republican, there was also a Libertarian and Independent candidate. I was Googling for details on the race, and its the retiring Jim Kolbe’s seat where Bush won with 53% in 2004. The Democrat, Gabrielle Giffords, has essentially won the race already as the GOP has pulled their money from supporting the Republican candidate Randy Graf.

But that’s not the fun part. On Graf’s website is a press release discussing his performance in the debate – and questions of whether he won or lost aside – it is an amazing document that seems more at home in the backstabbing world of high school politics than coming from a major party political candidate.

Randy Graf, the Republican nominee, tonight showed that he was the most Congressional of the contenders in the first televised 8th CD debate where all four candidates were present. Graf answered the questions of the moderator with skill and showed his knowledge of the issues affecting the United States and the District. Randy also let his good humor show a number of times, including when he answered a question from Independent Jay Quick by offering him help with his golf game. Randy Graf showed a deep and thoughtful understanding of the issues affecting the voters of District 8, while his main opponent Gabrielle Giffords gave canned answers, filled with platitudes and looked frazzled at times.

Discussing basic political philosophy, Randy Graf was an eloquent communicator of the views of former US Senator Barry Goldwater and President Ronald Reagan, who both stressed low taxes and limited government. Ms. Giffords continued her support of bigger government bureaucracy and higher taxes on families. Giffords continued to mislead the voters by suggesting that she does not support amnesty for the millions of illegal aliens currently in the country. Amnesty is exactly what Gabby supports. Giffords reaffirmed her support of a cut and run policy from Iraq by the end of 2007. “Randy connected well with the audience, and the people who watched on television saw that Randy was the most Congressional of the four candidates tonight. Randy showed tonight that he was the only candidate that supports our troops and opposes amnesty for the millions of illegal aliens currently in our country, while it was obvious that this was not the case for his opponent,” said Graf for Congress campaign manager RT Gregg.

Also, Graff will have a “bumpin fresh summer” and his opponent “totally sucks”. Oh my goodness.

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3 Responses to “Press Release Of The Year”

  1. dr pedro says:
    October 24, 2006 at 11:57 am

    This of course is one of the less desired side-effects of the collapse of the leftist states like California. After soiling their own nest with high taxes and social programs for illegal aliens, they “cut and run” for states with budget surpluses. I think San Diego county has been seeing a 2% yearly loss of population among american citizens. Unfortunately, they bring their tax and spend ways out to states that have been well-run, up until now.

    Like I said, I am looking forward to reminding america why they do better under republicans, and democratic wins now will give us a huge boost in ’08

  2. Oliver Willis says:
    October 24, 2006 at 12:09 pm

    I love how the rhetoric has changed. The stock market does better under Democratic presidents.

  3. Bruce says:
    October 24, 2006 at 2:31 pm

    I bumped into Graff on a commuter train out of DC maybe a month ago when he had apparently been meeting with “Speaker Hastert” (per his loud-talking cell-phone usage). Luggage tag said “Graf”. Struck me as a clone of Tom DeLay in style, figured he was a hack operative or hack lobbyist. Hack candidate works.