Kittens Yes Or No

Published January 24, 2006 in Republicans.

August is conducting the 2006 George W. Bush Dead Kitten Survey to find out how much the right would support Bush and his war on kitties.

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21 Responses to “Kittens Yes Or No”

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1 Brandon
Jan 24th, 2006 at 2:01 pm

This is supposed to be funny?
2 Hamilton Lovecraft
Jan 24th, 2006 at 2:01 pm

Aren’t the righties the ones who claim that lefties are too emotional? Why do all those surveyed get so angry and defensive instead of answering what’s really a very simple question?
3 Semanticleo
Jan 24th, 2006 at 2:01 pm

Loved JayTea’s response. It is refreshing in it’s frankness.
4 The Concordian
Jan 24th, 2006 at 2:01 pm

I doubt it. I suspect it’s meant solely to make a point. If it didn’t make it to you, it’s hardly worth explaining, now is it?
5 JWG
Jan 24th, 2006 at 3:01 pm

Years ago as a teenager, I seriously injured a kitten with a lawnmower. It was an accident. The kitten was in the grass catcher without my knowledge and jumped out when I started the mower. I had to finish off the poor thing with a shovel to the head.

So, yes…I will support the President in this case. I will not throw my stone. Plus, my wife hates cats.
6 mjb
Jan 24th, 2006 at 3:01 pm

It doesn’t matter what people call themselves, Reynolds is a conservative. It’s like saying that we have to wait for Bush and Cheney to admit to lying before we can judge them as liars.
7 SaveFarris
Jan 24th, 2006 at 3:01 pm

The funny thing is that in setting up the scenario, he says this:

would you, a conservative who supports the President and all his actions, still support him if he went as far as to kill a kitten with a hammer for no apparent reason?

He then emails this survey to bloggers, pundits & others who have opposed Bush on issues ranging from Medicare to Immigration to Spending to John Roberts to the Patriot Act. In fact, a few of the recipients (Reynolds in particular) don’t even self-describe themselves as conservative!

Starting from such a flawed premise, it’s hard to even see this survey as effective satire.
8 Quaker in a Basement
Jan 24th, 2006 at 3:01 pm

Buh…buh…but what about Clinton? Bill Clinton used a kitten to have Ess Eee Ecks with an intern.

[winger]
9 JWG
Jan 24th, 2006 at 3:01 pm

By the way…I like the Google ads that this post attracts.
10 Dugger
Jan 24th, 2006 at 3:01 pm

Well, I don’t about any hammer, but I have heard that Bubba ( I apologize in advance for this) abused a p*ssy with a cigar in the oval office. Is that what August means?

Dugger, If There is a h*ll, I’ll be there
11 JWG
Jan 24th, 2006 at 3:01 pm

used a kitten to have Ess Eee Ecks

Now that’s gross…I can’t support that at all.
12 Quaker in a Basement
Jan 24th, 2006 at 4:01 pm

Still keeping that copy of the Starr report tucked under the mattress, Dug?
13 factcheck
Jan 24th, 2006 at 4:01 pm

Semanticleo, Jay Tea is just “elevating the discourse”. Kind of funny how they dodge the question.
14 SaveFarris
Jan 24th, 2006 at 4:01 pm

A conservative that’s Pro-abortion, anti-Patriot Act, Pro-stem cell, anti-Schaivo, and anti-ID is not a conservative.

Ironically, the issues that would paint him most strongly in the Conservative camp (Immigration, Pork, Campaign Finance) are those where he has his strongest disagreements with President Bush, thus negating the premise of the “kitty hammer” question entirely.
15 factcheck
Jan 24th, 2006 at 4:01 pm

“A conservative that s Pro-abortion, anti-Patriot Act, Pro-stem cell, anti-Schaivo, and anti-ID is not a conservative.”

So much for the “big tent”.
16 JK
Jan 24th, 2006 at 5:01 pm

It would depend on whether or not someone at the CIA told Cheney, Wolfowitz and Bremmer if the kitten was harboring a viral infection that threatened the homeland.

Even if there wasn’t compelling evidence of an infected feline menace, the three stooges, above, at one point or another, would find reasons, because kittens have always been a problem, in their eyes. We can’t contain the kitty in his litterbox, we can’t allow a veterinarian to examine the kitty every 6 months for rabid kitty diease…we have to kill it to make it go away and more importantly, to save the homeland.

So, this is what they tell the dumb guy in the Oval Office. “We can’t contain the kitty, the Vet is too slow, and probably crazy, we have to act, and act now to save the homeland. Let’s tell those kitty loving liberals that the kitty has infected feline menace. When they find out he doesn’t, we’ll just tell everyone that kittys are horrible animals that treat mice really bad. If you tell dumb people something long enough, and often enough, they’ll believe you, Mr. President.”

Dumb guy says with smirk…”heh, heh, heh…….I like that. Kill that bad kitty. He tried to bite my Daddy. God wants that kitty dead.”

(Only took one time for Bush to fall for it.)

Plausible? I think so.

JK
17 Hamilton Lovecraft
Jan 24th, 2006 at 6:01 pm

SaveFarris:
Starting from such a flawed premise [surveyed individual is a conservative who supports the President and all his actions], it s hard to even see this survey as effective satire.

I’m a bleeding heart liberal, the question hasn’t been directed to me, and yet I’m not afraid to answer it. So I ask again: why are the surveyed so damned defensive about it?
18 TomboyMS
Jan 24th, 2006 at 9:01 pm

–Dumb guy says with smirk& heh, heh, heh& & .I like that. Kill that bad kitty. He tried to bite my Daddy. God wants that kitty dead. –

OMG! That’s f’ing hilarious!
19 rhys
Jan 25th, 2006 at 12:01 am

SaveFarris: “Starting from such a flawed premise, it s hard to even see this survey as effective satire.”

It’s not satire. It’s a hypothetical.

Every human being has a “moral line”, which they will not cross because they consider the other side of it to be immoral in the extreme. Liberals and conservatives draw this line in different places, but everyone has it.

For liberals, the line was crossed several hundred miles back. Torture, Valerie Plame, Iraq in general, corporate shenanigans, corruption at every level, hard-hearted social policies, on and on.

The question that August is trying to get conservatives to answer is: “Where is your moral line?”.

Your problem is that you know that the only valid answer is “No, I will not support Bush if he killed a kitten with a hammer”, but to admit that involves actually having enough self-reflection to admit that there is indeed a line, it has already been crossed, and you voted to let Bush cross it.
20 JayTea
Jan 25th, 2006 at 6:01 am

Factcheck, when did you stop raping your mother?

Just looking to “elevate the discourse.”

Actually, that was my second response. My first was something like 2.5, -4, or 3.141592654…
21 Dugger
Jan 25th, 2006 at 8:01 am

“Still keeping that copy of the Starr report tucked under the mattress, Dug?”

Yeah. From time to time the image of Bill and Monica and the cigar precludes the need for a more costly emetic.

Dugger