It’s only because I don’t have any kids yet.
His wife, Alice Kim Cage, gave birth Monday to a boy, Kal-el Coppola Cage, in New York City, said Cage’s Los Angeles-based publicist, Annett Wolf.

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Actually, I think Dan Jurgens from DC beat both of you.
Nice. His child had a child.
Is that little boy going to be sorry his parents slapped him with that moniker.
Dweezil and Moon Unit Zappa were better off.
Cage is an idiot
He should have gone for all the marbles: Deathmatch
Inasteel Cage.
I feel sorry for the kid. I don’t think kids in the playground are going to think “superman” when they hear “kal-el”. And I’m not even taking the superman curse into consideration either.
All I can say is Cage’s son had better learn how to throw (and take) a punch before he starts school.
Ignoring the first name for a second, I’m all for a nice tribute to family when naming your kid, but at what point does Nicolas Cage feel like he’s accomplished enough that he can stop reminding people he’s related to Francis Ford Coppola?
That poor kid is going to get beat up a lot.
PSU, Cage’s real last name is ‘Coppola.’ If you saw Fast Times At Ridgemont High, that’s how he’s credited. He changed his name to Cage in order to show that he wasn’t relying on his uncle’s name to make it in Hollywood. Since he probably never legally changed his name to Cage, his son would legally take his father’s legal surname which is Coppola.
That doesn’t change the fact that the kids first name is totally stupid.
It’s funny, because he could just as easily have gotten away with it if he’d named the kid Khalil; as in the Lebanese poet Gibran or the Padres shortstop Greene.
Nope Ben, it wasn’t Jurgens, it was Jon Bogdanove. Kal-El Bogdanove must be somewhere in his early teens now, I wonder if he’d have any advice for Kal-El Cage…
Bah. You guys are just jealous you didn’t think of it first.
I’m naming all my kids after Transformers.
Starscream Grimlock Gaines would never, I guarantee, get beat up on the playground.
But Capital Gaines would have a tough time making it across the Berkeley campus
I was thinking Galvatron Soundwave Gaines, myself. But I dunno about Grimlock … that just seems so … arrogant.
Naming your kid after a slow-witted T-Rex robot is arrogant?
Bumblebee Slipstream Gaines, then?
Slow-witted! I take offense at that! He had a speech impediment! So did Joseph Heller!
Philistines!