(8.11.05) — Fenton Gaines of Red Bank, New Jersey is in love with right-wing pundit Michelle Malkin and he doesn’t care who knows. “I’m not really sure what I love most about Michelle,” the 25 year old graphic designer said, “it could be the way she uses her race as an excuse to be hateful, or possibly the way she uses her good looks to get on television, or it just might be the way she just makes shit up to justify insanity. Or her hair, it might just be her hair.” Gaines claims that he realized his love for Malkin “right when she was smearing that Iraq war vet’s mom” this past Tuesday. “I heard her say ‘her story hasn’t checked out’ and I knew… just knew that a woman who could so brazenly lie on national television was the sort of girl I want to take home to momma.”
Michelle Malkin is as batshit crazy as Ann Coulter, she just has a milder form of Ann Coulter’s Tourette’s-like symptoms.
Put this man out of his misery, nobody deserves to live like this.