About Time

7:06 pm EST June 21st, 2005 | Politics | 5 Comments

This columnist just rips John Madden a new a-hole. He’s not funny and he sucks.

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5 Responses to “About Time”

  1. goatchowder says:
    June 22, 2005 at 12:06 am

    He’s John Candy. But not as funny.

    Alas, too many Americans think that stupid is charming. Madden goes for the “lovable oaf” schtick and people buy it. Sad.

  2. grendelkhan says:
    June 22, 2005 at 8:06 am

    SWEET JESUS I CAN”T STAND JOHN MADDEN. It’s bad enough that I can no longer get an NFL game for the PS2 that does not have Madden’s voice over (“If he’d a caught that ball, it’d be a touch down!”) but now I cannot escape the man no matter what do!

    Back in my drinking days, we would take bets on when John would be drunk during them game. When he started talking about the long underwear the refs were wearing, we knew he was plastered.

  3. BinkyBoy says:
    June 22, 2005 at 9:06 am

    Can someone please tell me who finds Madden enjoyable in any sort of way? For years I’ve been turning off games because he ruins them. Madden is like Bush’s smarter twin, I guess.

  4. mmuskratt says:
    June 22, 2005 at 1:06 pm

    Madden is enjoyable for several reasons.
    First, if you’re of the mind that football games are to be analyzed like you analyze politics on this site, then perhaps you should stop watching football. People who think like you may argue that football is not enjoyable, and sports in general are stupid – how would you defend yourselves?

    Second, Madden may sound like a dullard, but he knows the game. He gets down on the field, and has a knack for choosing elements of any matchup that he’ll unleash in the first quarter. He keys in on players that are doing something special, and then, surprise! that person is involved in several key plays later in the game that decide it.

    Horse trailer, man. Glorification, idols, gladiators – images on a big ol’ trailer that Madden brings with him because he doesn’t fly. The guy is like Yogi Berra – people love that about him. He eats at the Steak and Shake – he knows Bob’s cousin over at the truck stop, and he calls up the family when he’s in town. He’s not some guy wearing a suit to the game, he epitomizes middle-America, is humble and likeable. In case you didn’t notice, Americans like that in public figures…why do you think Bush is so popular, and he’s a faker!

    “I love to see that…he’s got a huge clump of mud and grass hanging from his helmet, and there’s not enough time to take it off. That’s what a big guy needs to do…get muddy, dig in the trenches. That’s football”

    It is funny as hell to listen to him. The fact that he makes the completely obvious obvious is part of the entertainment. It isn’t deep, no, but I’d take him over Joe Theisman any day. That guy’s a hack, and a former Redskin at that – the Skins SUCK.

  5. BinkyBoy says:
    June 22, 2005 at 3:06 pm

    I guess I see Madden as a distraction, they had to take his screen pen away from him so people could see what the heck was going on. He just keeps babbling away, useless trivial BS that distracts from everything else. I don’t see him as a lovable oaf, I see him as the idiot cousin that comes to the picnic and steps in the food right before setting himself on fire.